AmandaCSB

= Amanda's Self-Realization Digital Scrapbook = This is the place where I will write about the journey I follow to self-realization. My goal is to gain wisdom and takes steps towards enlightening myself. I will be following the journey of Siddhartha, the title character of Herman Hesse's // Siddhartha //, as a model for my own journey. The steps I have taken follow.

= With The Samanas =

The Assignment
To get a feeling for how the Samanas, Indian ascetics that are found in the novel // Siddhartha //, try to reach enlightenment, we gave up something we enjoy for a week. I chose to give up gum because it's technically not something I ** need **. Technically.

Getting Started
At first, it was very hard to resist the temptation to grab a stick of gum after every meal or even just mid-day. I turn to gum many times when I'm hungry because it seems to trick my brain into thinking that my body doesn't need food at that moment. "One goal was Siddhartha's and only one: to become empty..." (Hesse 7). I certainly felt empty in more ways than one when I gave up my gum.

Mid-Week
I was doing a little better part way through the week but it was still very difficult. I was hungry all day unless I was eating and it became difficult to focus in class. I was so used to chewing four to six pieces of gum each day, I felt that I was depriving myself. "We have learned and we are continuing to learn" (9). I imagine that Siddhartha's self-deprivation was very similar to this trial that we endured. Each day would be difficult but it would slowly get better and the learning would continue. I don't think I would want to deprive myself of all the things that Siddhartha deprived himself of but on the other hand, he became a wise man by the end.

By the End
Toward the end of the week, I wasn't noticing my hunger as much and was able to focus in class without constantly chewing gum. I missed having so mething minty to eat after my meals though. "He who is contemplation, with purified mind, immerses himself in Atman" (11). While I'm not so sure that self-deprivation always leads to contentment, I do have a deeper appreciation for people who do that sort of thing. They realize that they don't need much to be satisfied. Siddhartha agreed that self-deprivation as an extreme isn't the way to go. I agree with him but also believe that there is something to be learned from participating. After doing this assignment, I decided to not deprive myself of gum all the time but try to only chew it when I need to such as after meals or during a test that I really need to focus on.

= Awakening =

The Quote
What does Siddhartha's "Awakening" look like? Is this the same thing as reaching Enlightenment? In the text, Siddhartha becomes awakened to the world around him after leaving the Samanas and Gotama (the Buddha). He sees "the world for the first time. The world was beautiful strange and mysterious. Here was blue, here was yellow, here was green, sky and river, woods and mountains, all beautiful, all mysterious and enchanting, and in the midst of it, he, Siddhartha, the awakened one, on the way to himself. All this, all this yellow and blue, river and wood, passed for the first time across Siddhartha's eyes. It was no longer the magic of Mara, it was no more the veil of Maya, it was no longer meaningless and the chance diversities of the appearances of the world, despised by deep-thinking Brahmins, who scorned diversity, who sought unity. River was river, and if the One and Divine in Siddhartha secretly lived in blue and river, it was just the divine art and intention that there should be yellow and blue, there sky and wood -- and here Siddhartha. Meaning and reality were not hidden somewhere behind things, they were in them, in all of them" (39).

Analysis
I drew the scene this way because when he awoke, "Here was blue" in the "sky and river", "here was yellow" in the sun, and "here was green" in the woods and mountains. The setting that Hesse chose to describe where Siddhartha awoke gave a very calm and peaceful feeling to the story. The color blue and the water symbolize serenity, rebirth, and life. The green of the woods and mountains symbolizes nature and growth. And finally, the yellow of the sun symbolizes wisdom and enlightenment.

= Kamala =


 * Name ** : Kamala


 * Location ** : I live near a beautiful river just outside of the town.


 * Eyes ** : My eyes are dark and mysterious but reveal my cleverness and alertness to the world. (pg 28).


 * Hair ** : My hair is a luscious black color that flows in long locks but I usually keep it up in a gorgeous up-do. (pg 28).

**About Me (looks):**
I have a clever face with "bright-red lips like a newly opened fig" (pg 28). My eyes are situated beneath my well tended eyebrows which are "painted in the form of high arches" (28). I have a fair neck and fair hands which are long and narrow. My outward beauty is very appealing to men. My jewelry and garments reveal my desire to be with rich men.

**Hobbies / Profession (actions):**
For a living, I trade physical satisfaction for nice things. I can kiss very well. "I am good at it, and so I have no lack of clothes, shoes, armbands, and every beautiful thing" (32). I spend my time with rich men and offer them lessons in kissing, how to treat a woman, among other things. They give me nice clothes and jewelry in exchange.

**Looking For (speech, effect on others) :**
I want a man to have "clothes, handsome clothes, and shoes, good-looking shoes, and a lot of money in his purse, and gifts for [me]" (30). Every man I am with needs to have these things or else I will not be satisfied. I am very particular as to who I spend my time with; I only like the rich men of the village.

= Samsara =

My Daily Life
// Write down a list of things you do every day or every week. What are your routines? What does a day in your life look like? Be sure to include at least 6 things. // 1. Wake up. 2. Get ready for school, shower, eat breakfast 3. Drive to school 4. Attend my classes. 5. Eat lunch. 6. Attend more classes. 7. Drive home. 8. Relax, eat snack, get ready for dance 9. Drive to dance. 10. Attend dance classes. 11. Drive home from dance. 12. Do homework. 13. Go to sleep.

The Comic!


(from Pixton.com)

Analysis
My life is pretty routine during the week. I wake up around 6:30 to get ready and eat. I leave the house around 8:00 and get to school early. My classes are usually dull and boring. It's just notes, assignments, quizzes, tests. It drives me insane. There are much more practical ways to learn the same things. I feel like I could be doing so much more in my life that would be more beneficial than attending school. I feel like Siddhartha at times because "...where were those [people]?...who had succeeded not merely in knowing this most profound knowledge, but in living it?" (4). You can't attain wisdom through formal education alone; you need experiences. Anyway, I try to make the most of my time outside of school. I meet with people about projects I'm working on, attend my dance classes, and spend time with my family and friends. I have to end my day with homework and studying before finally heading to bed around 11:00. This routine is pretty unchanging except for days when I don't have school. Hopefully these next few years will go quickly so I can get out into the world and make a positive difference.

= The River = = = media type="custom" key="24583574"

**Song:** "Just Around the Riverbend" by Pocahontas
"What I love most about rivers is: You can't step in the same river twice  The water's always changing, always flowing" "But out of all secrets of the river, he today only saw one, this one touched his soul. He saw: this water ran and ran, incessantly it ran, and was nevertheless always there, was always an at all times the same and yet new in every moment!" (54). This song is one of my favorite Disney songs. Pocahontas starts the song by explaining how the water is ever-changing and how it flows continuously. She likes this about rivers. Siddhartha thinks the same way. When he comes upon the river, he realized that the water always ran and it was always there. It was constant but ever-changing. Rivers are strange if you think about them. You can depend on them to constantly be there but they will always be new. This reminds me of Buddha's idea to the path of Enlightenment because it is always there but it is constantly changing.
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media type="custom" key="24583644"

**Song:** "The River" by Imagine Dragons
"Reach, It's not as bad as it seems I cleanse in the river for somebody else. For anyone but myself" "When Siddhartha listened attentively to this river, to the song of a thousand voices; when he did not listen to the sorrow or laughter, when he did not bind his soul to any one particular voice and absorb it in his Self, but heard them all, the whole, the unity" (54). Imagine Dragons is a favorite band of mine and this song came up when I Googled "songs about rivers". The song is about someone who has been selfish in the past but is trying to change their ways. The singer says that he "cleanses in the river for somebody else; for anybody but myself" which means that he wants to now be kind to others. The river appears to be cleansing which is similar to what happened to Buddha. He was able to be cleansed by the river so he could hear the unity within it.
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media type="custom" key="24583718"

**Song:** "River Flows in You" by Jasper Forks
"The river flows in you Slowly now, slowly now  It's in you, the river flows in you  "Here was blue, here was yellow, here was green, the sky and the river flowed, the forest and the mountains were rigid, all of it was beautiful, all of it was mysterious and magical, and in its mist was he, Siddhartha, the awakening one, on the path to himself" (22). I have never heard this song but I was intrigued by the title and lyrics of the song. The singer says "the river flows in you" while Buddha says that the river flows around him. This connection seems to help Siddhartha realize how to reach himself; how to get the river to flow inside of him rather than around him. It seems as if becoming one with the things around you helps you to become enlightened.
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