ColinCSB

Colin's Scrapbook This is the place where I will write about the journey I follow to self-realization. My goal is to gain wisdom and takes steps towards enlightening myself. I will be following the journey of Siddhartha, the title character of Herman Hesse's //Siddhartha//, as a model for my own journey. The steps I have taken follow.

=With the Samanas = = =

The Assignment =To get a feeling for how the Samanas, Indian ascetics that are found in the novel //Siddhartha//, try to reach enlightenment, we gave up something we enjoy for a week. I chose to give up ice cream.=

=Beginning of Week = My self-deprivation of ice cream had been an unenjoyable but, interesting experience. A whole week without ice cream is a long time but, at first it seemed do able. Ice cream is usually the only dessert we have around the house usually so, not much else is there to eat. The first day I felt confident and thought, "Eh, this isn't so bad" and for the first few days I was doing fine but I almost forgot I couldn't have ice cream and almost ended my self-deprivation. I was hungry after dinner and when I can't eat ice cream all I was left with was pantry food like chips which aren't usually a typical night-time snack after dinner. I started feeling the withdraw by the third day and felt the exact opposite way Gotama was feeling in this quote, "Thus Gotama, walked toward the town to gather alms, and the two samanas recognized him solely by the perfection of his repose, by the calmness of his figure, in which there was no trace of seeking, desiring, imitating, or striving, only light and peace." (15-16) while Gotama was feeling like perfection with no desire or seeking I was desiring to eat ice cream or some sweet food to quench my hunger.

= Mid-Week = By mid-week I definitely was deprivated and wanted some ice cream. I had to eat less yummy foods to quench my dessert desire. I had to eat weird chocolate cookies, (which weren't that bad) and a pudding cup (which was good) to make-up for my lack of ice cream. While these were nice treats, I only had them once in different parts of the week so I was still pretty hungry during the night. I at least wasn't putting too much junk food into my system as I might normally do so that was a good thing I realized by mid-week. At some points I was worried I had completely forgotten about my self-deprivation and had accidentally eaten ice cream of form like Siddhartha almost forgot on his journey. "Siddhartha said: "Let us enjoy those fruits and wait for the rest, O Govinda! But these fruits, for which we are already obliged to Gotama, consist in his calling us away from the samanas!" (13). Here Siddhartha almost ended his self-deprivation of food by eating those apples like I had with ice cream, I could've eaten the ice cream and no one would've known but me, but in doing so I would've also have ended the deprivation I had entitled myself to.

= End of Week =



At the end of the week I was feeling somewhat starved of delicious desserts but, I was all right in the end and finished my deprivation without having to eat any ice cream. It was long and annoying and made me hungry but it was done. While of course I didn't look anything like Siddhartha in that picture, I did feel like that. It was an unpleasant time but, I did learn that in a VERY small way, I had accomplished something like Siddhartha did in his long self-deprivation from everything. I had shown I could avoid desire of ice cream and reach a feeling of achievement. I feel like regardless of what people say you can do anything like Gotama says "But let me warn you, you thirster after knowledge, against the jungle of opinions and quarreling over mere words. Opinions are completely unimportant" (18-19).

= Awakening =

The Quote
What does Siddhartha's "Awakening" look like? Is this the same thing as reaching Enlightenment? In the text, Siddhartha becomes awakened to the world around him after leaving the Samanas and Gotama (the Buddha). He sees "the world for the first time. The world was beautiful strange and mysterious. Here was blue, here was yellow, here was green, sky and river, woods and mountains, all beautiful, all mysterious and enchanting, and in the midst of it, he, Siddhartha, the awakened one, on the way to himself. All this, all this yellow and blue, river and wood, passed for the first time across Siddhartha's eyes. It was no longer the magic of Mara, it was no more the veil of Maya, it was no longer meaningless and the chance diversities of the appearances of the world, despised by deep-thinking Brahmins, who scorned diversity, who sought unity. River was river, and if the One and Divine in Siddhartha secretly lived in blue and river, it was just the divine art and intention that there should be yellow and blue, there sky and wood -- and here Siddhartha. Meaning and reality were not hidden somewhere behind things, they were in them, in all of them" (39).

I drew this picture because, I thought this is how Siddhartha saw the world when he finally opened his eyes to the true beauty of the world we live in. He mentioned that there was blue, mystery, green, forests, mountains, yellow, etc. when he opened his eyes which I why I drew the forest, the mountain, the green plains, the yellow sun, the mysteriously colored house in the forest, the river, etc. I thought that's how he truly saw it. He seemed as if he was in the center of the world when he was enlightened. I think the author wrote this because, Siddhartha when he was truly awakened would have seen the world as it really was not just all dark but with happiness and the beauty of nature. The author probably used all these colors as a symbolic archetype of what Siddhartha saw because, before he saw the world with poverty and pain and suffering but when he reached the first stage of enlightenment he was then truly seeing the colors of the real world, the green of plains, the blue of rivers, the yellow of the sun, etc. He was trying to tell us that Siddhartha now truly understood the world as it was.

=Kamala=

Name: Kamala
 * Location: Near a beautiful grove outside of town (28).**


 * Eyes: I have dark clever eyes (28).**


 * Hair: I have high-piled black hair (28).**

==**About Me: I am a very beautiful woman who first lived in poverty but now am somewhat rich. I have a very "clever face, bright red lips... [and] eyebrows well tinted and in the form of high arches" (28). To not desire me is to be foolish. Men like me for not only my looks but for what I am doing, teaching the art of love to them. I am rich in money and beautiful looks, I am somewhat egocentric and selfish but am compassionate for the right person.**==

==**Hobbies/Profession: What I do for a living and a hobby is to teach the art of love to people but, I am very particular. I like poetry and "if I like your poem" (31) then feel very honored. I also wish to one day read and write. "Most people cannot. I cannot, either" (32) oh, if you can read and write please do feel free to teach me!**==

==**Looking For: I am a very picky person. I am looking for a person who must have "handsome clothes, good-looking shoes, and a lot of money in his purse, and gifts for Kamala" (30). If you do not reach these requirements then you may as well not even bother coming.**==

=Samsara= I feel like I can relate to Siddhartha because, I feel like my life at times is very stressful but at the same time I also feel like it is very enjoyable but, that time passes by too quickly. Siddhartha says that for himself that his life is great but, that life speeds by very quickly, "The years sped by; cushioned by prosperity, Siddhartha barely felt their passing." (40) my life can feel like that too sometimes especially during breaks when I'm enjoying life immensely and next thing you know you're back in school and back to work. Not to mention your childhood will be gone before you know it. Though I also feel like at times my life is spent too much doing work like Siddhartha "He had been hindered by too much knowledge, too many sacred verses, too many sacrificial rules, too much castigation, too much activity and ambition." (53) life shouldn't be mostly spent on learning more knowledge much of which won't be used in our life or job preference. I feel like too much time is spent on working and not enjoying ourselves like Siddhartha had realized.

media type="custom" key="24523362" "The River" by Bruce Springsteen I come from down in the valley where mister when you're young They bring you up to do like your daddy done Me and Mary we met in high school when she was just seventeen We'd ride out of this valley down to where the fields were green

We'd go down to the river And into the river we'd dive Oh down to the river we'd ride

Then I got Mary pregnant and man that was all she wrote And for my nineteenth birthday I got a union card and a wedding coat We went down to the courthouse and the judge put it all to rest No wedding day smiles no walk down the aisle No flowers no wedding dress

That night we went down to the river And into the river we'd dive Oh down to the river we did ride

I got a job working construction for the Johnstown Company But lately there ain't been much work on account of the economy Now all them things that seemed so important Well mister they vanished right into the air Now I just act like I don't remember Mary acts like she don't care

But I remember us riding in my brother's car Her body tan and wet down at the reservoir At night on them banks I'd lie awake And pull her close just to feel each breath she'd take Now those memories come back to haunt me they haunt me like a curse Is a dream a lie if it don't come true Or is it something worse that sends me down to the river though I know the river is dry That sends me down to the river tonight Down to the river my baby and I Oh down to the river we ride Quote from the text: " 'Yes,' said the ferryman, 'a very beautiful river; I love it above all other things. I have often listened to it, I have often looked into its eyes, and I have always learned from it. You can learn a lot from a river.' " Analysis: The man in the song has many memories from the river and loves the river like the ferryman, and he and his wife would "go down to the river" and there they had many memories and must've learned many things from the river as it was a big part of their life. (pg. 27)       <span style="display: block; font-family: Verdana,Arial; text-align: center;"> <span style="display: block; font-family: Verdana,Arial; text-align: center;"> <span style="display: block; font-family: Verdana,Arial; text-align: center;"> <span style="display: block; font-family: Verdana,Arial; text-align: center;"> media type="custom" key="24523504" align="center"

"Goodbye to a River" by Don Henley The rains have come early, they say We’re all gonna wash away Well, that’s all right with me If heaven’s torrent can wash clean The arrogance that lies unseen In the damage done since we have gone Where we ought not to be Goodbye to a river Goodbye to a river So long

Lakes and levees, dams and locks They put that river in a box It was running wild And men must have control We live our lives in starts and fits We lose our wonder bit by bit We condescend and in the end We lose our very souls Goodbye to a river Goodbye to a river So long

The dirty water washes down Poisoning the common ground Taking sins of farm and town And bearing them away The captains of industry And their tools on the hill They’re killing everything divine What will I tell this child of mine

(solo) I make a church out of words As the years dull my senses And I try to hold on to the world that I knew I struggle to cross generational fences And the beauty that still remains¡º I can touch it through you Goodbye to a river Goodbye to a river So long

Goodbye to a river Goodbye to a river So long

Goodbye to a river Goodbye to a river So long

Goodbye to a river Goodbye to a river Roll on

Quote from the text: " He had given them up for the sake of the most wretched things, the most transitory things, for sensual pleasure for luxury, for wealth!... 'Things are going downhill for me!' he said to himself, laughing the while; and, as he said this, his glance fell on the river, and he saw the river going downward, too, moving constantly downstream, but singing merrily as it went." (pg. 51) Analysis: Like the character in the song, both he and Siddhartha feel that they have "lost their souls" throughout life with Siddhartha experiencing exactly what he was against, while the man has been affected by the rich who plan to dam the river and stop it. It's a sense of the greediness of some of the rich. That the wealthy in their lives don't care that lives and beauty are being wasted on such luxuries. The character's wealthy people are destroying beautiful nature for their desires while Siddhartha wastes his life in "luxury and wealth".

media type="custom" key="24523576" "Cry me a River" by Aerosmith  Now you say you’re lonely

You cry the whole night through

Well you can cry me a river, cry me a river

I’ll cried a river over you

Now you say you’re sorry

For being so untrue

Well you can cry me a river, cry me a river

I’ll cried a river over you

Now you say you’re sorry

For being so untrue

Well you can cry me a river, cry me a river

I’ll cried a river over you

You drove me, baby, drove me out of my pain

Why, you never shed a tear

Remember all, remember all that she said

Told me love was to be in, you was, you was...

Now you say you love me

Well, just to prove you do

Come on and cry me a river, cry me a river

I’ll cried a river over you

I’ll cried a river over you

I’ll cried a river over (yah yah, yeah, yah yah, yeah...) Quote from the text: "He saw: this water flowed and flowed, it kept on flowing, and yet it was always there; it was always and at all times the same and yet new every moment! Oh, if he could only grasp that, understand that! He did not understand or grasp it; he merely felt the stirrings of a premonition, a distant recollection, divine voices." (pg. 55) Analysis: The man in this story has a woman who he wants to "cry him a river" of tears, that would "flow and flow and yet would always be new" yet even if she did he doesn't understand that what she says is true. He would not grasp that her words of wanting forgiveness were all true, he'd just want her to cry and cry and her apologies would not stir him much, considering what person demands for someone to beg for forgiveness? Siddhartha likes to know that Kamala would be sad if he left but at the same time he would be sad for ditching her.

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