MorganScrabook7

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=**Morgan Painley's Self-Realization Scrapbook**=

**The Assignment**
To get a feeling for how the Samanas, Indian ascetics that are found in the novel // Siddhartha //, try to reach enlightenment, we gave up something we enjoy for a week. I chose to give up gum, because I get offered or bring it daily, and I've become quite addicted to it.

The Beginning- Friday and Saturday
Friday is going great. Have not had one little bit of gum. Got offered some in Drama but I denied them immediately. And then came Saturday, got a spirit bag that had a pack of gum and blow pop minis, that have a little gum in the middle. But I can do it. I can eat the rest of my stuff and wait until Friday to have the gum. It's all good.

The Middle- Sunday and Monday
The gum from my spirit bag is just sitting there, torturing me. My sinuses are even worse, and the burst of mint it could really help. "The world had a bitter taste. life was torment." (Pg.7). Debating with myself if I might as well give it someone else or if I can bear the week with it so close. I'm afraid I'm just going to grab it and eat it all. I have will-power, but my nose and teeth feel like they're under a 10-pound weigh from the pressure. But it's fine. I think it's going to be okay.

The End
"Have we made any progress? Have we reached any goals?" (Pg.9) I don't feel like I have. Broke down and ate the candy in my spirit bag. The blow pop minis had gum in the middle. Only a little bit and it wasn't minty, so it didn't aid my sinuses at all. Kind of didn't benefit me at all. I never did have the minty gum I got though, which doesn't make much sense. I broke down and ate the candy that didn't help me at all, basically showing me that I didn't need gum for my sinuses. I just wanted gum. Oh well, this experience has basically showed me that quitting things is hard and I need gum in my life. Not just for my sinuses but also for everyday life. Well good for him I guess, I couldn't even give up gum but he basically gave up life.

=**Awakening**=

Siddhartha reached awakening after leaving his pampered life. To him, awakening looked like brighter colours and beautiful nature. "As Siddhartha left the grove in which the Buddha, the Perfect One, remained, in which Govinda remained, he felt that he had also left his former life behind him in the grove" 'Here was blue, here was yellow, here was green, sky and river, woods and mountains, all beautiful, all mysterious and enchanting and in the midst of it, here Siddhartha, the awakened one, on the way to himself." I chose to draw the greens, skies, rivers, woods, and mountains because that is what Siddhartha was said to have seen. I also chose to draw the path because, "Immediately he moved on again and began to walk quickly and impatiently, no longer homewards, no longer to his father, no longer looking forward."

**Kamala**

 * Name**: Kamala


 * Location**: The Pleasure Grove (52)


 * Eyes**: Dark Brown


 * Hair**: Chocolate Brown with Caramel Streaks

I'm incredibly wealthy, beautiful, and well-known throughout my community. "good at kissing, and so I have no lack of clothes, shoes, armbands, and every beautiful thing." (p.g. 32)
 * About Me**

I would say I am like that of a professional lover. "...young men come and visit me." (30) and I teach them how to love, or I love them myself. If they pay me that it. Though some don't.
 * Hobbies / Profession**

"He must have clothes, handsome clothes, and shoes, good looking shoes and a lot of money in his purse, and gifts for Kamala" (30). I want a man who will give me things, and he must also look good and be known.
 * Looking For**

My Daily Life
1. Wake up. 2. Eat breakfast. Usually it's cereal 3. Go to marching band and try not to kill the other instruments 4. Attempt to learn 5. Eat dinner 6. Go to bed at an absurdly late hour.

**Comic!**



 * Examination:**

Not everyday is the same for me. I do the same things, getting up, going to school, going home. Each day has a new encounter with my friends or a new challenge in my classes. I learn new things everyday, and I see new things everyday. Though the outline of my day is the same, the details and things in between the lines change daily. I feel the years passing, unlike Siddhartha on p.g. 40

River Songs
media type="youtube" key="AGdyRihp1Qg" height="314" width="420" //"Feeling old, feelings this time take you.Down river, down river, down river, down // //Walk these stairs, put the pieces back together// //Go don't stop, go don't stop, go don't stop .Go don't stop now, go...."//

Examination: I think this song can really relate to the "stop, go, don't go, go" lifestyle of Siddhartha. He wanted to go, and then he stopped. He wanted to stay but then he left. I think it shows how he never looks back, though, "the life he lived for many years had passed." (p.g. 87)

(P.S. The Temper Trap is a good band and you should listen to them)

media type="youtube" key="wEKkJHSO8A0" height="315" width="560" //That sends me down to the river,// //Though I know, the river is dry.// //It sends me down to the river, tonight//

Examination: I think this song signifies how you can find something completely different out of something else, as Siddartha did on p.g. 88, where he said "The chilly emptiness in the water reflected his terrible emptiness in soul."

media type="youtube" key="HcjJgU3x6J8" height="315" width="420" //We'd go down to the river,// //and into the river we'd dive// //We'd go down to the river// //On down to the river we did ride//

Examination: This song is about trying to save yourself, trying to feel free while using this always-flowing river as a way. On p.g. 55, Siddhartha wants the river to "take me across" as a way to free himself.

Om
I chose to do a creative assignment that involved writing a short story that tied in the need to be free and the desire to run away, like Siddhartha.

I watched as my mother packed every last remnants of my existence into the moving truck, box after box. They were stacked high, just touching the top of the small white truck. As the trunk closed, I caught the glance of a label of the box that meant the most to me. //“Annie, stuffed animals”.// My mother stood by the truck and discussed routes with the driver while I walked up the path to my front door, as I had done everyday when I got off the bus. I’d burst into the house and greet my parents with an excellent test score or a praise I’d received from the teacher that day. I was told by everybody at school that I was incredibly intelligent. I would look down at my report card and believe them. My life was all so perfect. Perfect parents, never wavering in their marriage and still in love today. The perfect house, one where I would host my friends almost every weekend. The perfect friends, a great variety that taught me lessons and made me happy. Everything was perfect. And I was happy. I harbored that idea, that I was happy, for far too long. I glanced at the old bench that leant against the fence at the back of the house. I liked to read there, or when I was little play cards with my elementary school friend Sally. We’d giggle as we slapped down the paper on the wood of the bench, playing a game with unannounced rules and an unusual method of winning. I went and sat on the old wood, wondering if the new people that moved in would keep it or throw the old thing away. I looked up from my stance and saw one of my oldest friends, Ethan, walking up the path. “Hey Annie,” he said as he sat down, “are you leaving soon?” “In a couple of hours. We wanted to wait for the new owners to get here before we left.” “Hm.” Ethan grunted as he nodded his head. “Has everyone else already come by?” I gripped the bottom of the bench, my slender fingers wrapping around the wood, knowing I must be giving myself splinters. “Yeah, they already came. Why didn’t you come with them?” “My parents are getting divorced,” Ethan replied. As though that was the answer to my question. “What?” Ethan looked down at his lap. “Yeah. They told me the day before you had your going away party. That’s why I didn’t come.” “Oh.” I looked down at my lap. After, I felt as though he hadn’t come because I’d made more of our friendship than it really was. “I’m sorry.” Ethan chuckled. “Don’t be. It gave me the push to finally do what I’ve wanted to for a long time.” I looked up from my lap and to Ethan, who was now fully facing me, hands in a pleading position. “What?” My mind was racing. How was rebelling? Drugs? Alcohol? “I’m running away,” I gasped. I never really though gasping was a thing, except when people were over-exaggerating. But in that moment, I gasped. “And I want you to come with me.” I let fall the second gasp of my entire life. “What are you talking about? You’re crazy.” Ethan looked at me, pleadingly. “No I’m not. And you aren’t either, and you won’t be if you come with me. This isn’t what you want, to move hours away and live the same life, just in a different place. Face it, Annie, if you move almost nothing will change. You’ll go to school and people will tell you you’re a genius. You’ll make new friends and they’ll come to your house and you’ll have a nice time. But you’ll always feel a little emptiness. And do you know what that emptiness needs to be filled with?” I shook my head. “Adventure. You never do anything adventurous, Annie. C’mon. Color outside of the lines, smell a different kind of air.” I sat there, silent. He was right. I had nothing to worry about when it came to moving. I’d do in my new town what I’d done in the last and everything would be perfect. But I was getting a little tired of everything being perfect. “Where would we go?” I asked Ethan. His face softened and he looked relived that I was even considering his offer. “Who knows, who cares. We could go anywhere you wanted to go.” I nodded my head. There were plenty of places I wanted to go. I just didn’t know I could. “Ok.” Ethan smiled and took my hand in his. “Then let’s go.” I resisted the urge to, but as we ran past the confines of my picket fence, I looked back at my house. The neatness, the cleanness, the absolute perfection that embodied my life, I took in for a few moments. And it only made me run faster.