MatthewSSB

Matthew's Scrapbook This is the place where I will write about the journey I follow to self-realization. My goal is to gain wisdom and takes steps towards enlightening myself. I will be following the journey of Siddhartha, the title character of Herman Hesse's // Siddhartha //, as a model for my own journey. The steps I have taken follow.

=With the Samanas=

[[image:driddle10h/ascetic buddha.jpg align="left"]]The Assignment
=== To get a feeling for how the Samanas, Indian ascetics that are found in the novel // Siddhartha //, try to reach enlightenment, we gave up something we enjoy for a week. I chose to give up video games, because it's technically not something I ** need **. ===

Beginning of the Week
The beginning of my week without video games was not too hard. I was far too busy to anything related to gaming at first. Since I had an absence at school, there was a fair amount of work to be made up. On my second day without video games, I did not receive any homework, nor was there anything to keep me entertained. Using this opportunity, I decided to practice the piano. This was, in a way, like Siddhartha's denial of self. While Siddhartha became a better student of the Samanas when, "He took the path of liberation from self through pain, through voluntary suffering and conquest of the pain, hunger, thirst, fatigue"(Hesse, 8), I became a better student in general when I took a took a break from video games.

Middle of week
After a few days without video games, I was beginning to feel separated. At times I felt bored. Occasionally, my sister would play video games, so I just sat and watched her. It was still rather boring, so I decided that exercise would be a productive use of my time. Although productive, exercise can only be done for so long, and I was running out of things to do. I decided to just sit and think about what was happening in my life and what I could do about it, but ended up "zoning out" thinking of much more until my thoughts led me in a full circle back to myself. When Siddhartha would meditate, there was the "...unavoidable, inescapable hour in which he found himself again, in sunlight or in moonlight, in shadow or rain, and was one again 'I'..." (9). This usually concluded my thoughts and I would go back to doing something else.

End of the Week
By the end of my week without video games, I was beginning to get accustomed to not being able to play video games, but i was still glad that the week was over. While the time was occasionally boring, I was able to get more done, especially school and musical work. At first I thought that I would gain nothing but boredom, but unlike Siddhartha, I felt like i had gained something beneficial. Siddhartha argues against Govinda's points about what he has learned. He believed that "...he has not grown wiser, he has not gathered knowledge, he has not risen few steps higher"(10), but i felt that i had gained a variety of good things, including patience, work ethic, and thought. I now feel like I can put myself in more situations that I will not enjoy for the sake of bettering myself.

=**Awakening**=



Analysis
I chose to draw my picture like I did because in Siddhartha, when Siddhartha realizes that it is okay to find beauty in things, he sees that "The world was beautiful, the world was full of variety, the world was strange and puzzling!"(22). I tried to make the picture look as nice and serene as possible and add many colors.

=Kamala=

Looking For(speech, effect on others): I like a man with "...clothes, shoes, [and] money"(31). I also really like poetry.
=Samsara=

My daily life
1. Wake up 2. Get ready for school 3. Go to dad's office/use computer/wait fro bus. 4. Go to classes. 5. Go to piano 6. Do homework. 7. Play video games or watch T.V. 8. Go to bed. 9. Actually sleep

Analysis
Generally, my days are fairly similar. I get up and go to school, spend most of the day there, and then go home to do homework and relax. Life is generally pretty good and relaxing. I enjoy how everything is, but I would enjoy a little change. I feel like there should just be something more to my repetitive schedule. I feel like it is too easy "...[regard] it all as a game(36). There is a long cycle of the same thing over and over, and it becomes increasingly difficult to take it seriously.

=The River= All Roads to the River, Janis Ian =media type="custom" key="24662006" align="left"=

Lyrics:
And the river runs wide, and the river runs deep And I spit in the eye of safe company Gonna dive right down to the undertow 'Cause the deeper I drown, the higher I go.

Quote:
"His features distorted, he stared into the water; seeing the reflection of his face, he spat at it. In profound weariness he detached his arm from the tree trunk and turned his body slightly so that he would fall vertically, and finally perish (47)".

Analysis:
The lyrics to this song, especially this stanza, are almost perfect for Siddhartha. By the beginning of "By the River", Siddhartha is depressed about being a Samana and being unable to live normally. Siddhartha actually spits at his own reflection, which parallels the song. Before this chapter, the Samana never has safe company or any company. He wants to, but is unable to, which depresses him. He thinks about drowning himself, which fits the song even more perfectly. It seems that this Stanza could be based off of this chapter of Siddhartha. The only difference is that if Siddhartha drowns by this chapter, he would not go higher. He is already a Brahman, and has probably not yet done enough to escape the cycle.