KateScrabook7

=Kate Edson's Self-Realization Scrapbook=

=With the Samanas= =The Assignment= To get a feeling for how the Samanas, Indian ascetics that are found in the novel //Siddhartha//, try to reach enlightenment, we gave up something we enjoy for a week. I chose to give YouTube, which was seemed tricky at first before I adjusted. == =Getting Started= For the first day of giving up YouTube everything seemed to be going well. However, later that night I completely forgot about the self-deprivation assignment all together and watched a couple of videos. When I woke up the next day I immediately remembered and kicked myself for forgetting the night before. That was one of my problems: forgetting to give up YouTube rather than giving in to YouTube. However, when I did want to watch a video, I tried to distract myself by doing other things. Like Siddhartha "stood until he no longer felt pain and thirst" (Hesse 14) I would encourage myself to do things that weren't related to YouTube at all. This proved pretty effective.

=Mid-Week= The middle of the week, like the beginning of the week, started off going okay. I was keeping too busy to think about stopping to watch a YouTube video. However, on the fourth day I opened a video without thinking and almost started to watch it before I quickly exited out! Again, for me the problem seemed to be remembering not to go on YouTube. However, I was starting to realize that I //could// do this and that going without YouTube wasn't a bad thing. The fact that I noticed how I could go without something made me feel that I was really getting something out of the assignment. Like Siddhartha said that they had "already tasted the best fruit" (23), I felt as though my fruit was the realization that YouTube isn't necessary in my life. =By the End= On the last couple of days, I, once again, kept forgetting about no YouTube. I searched for a video on YouTube but was unable to find it, so I exited out of YouTube and didn't try again. Later, looking back I was happy that I had not been able to find it because it would have been going against my personal suffering! Even though the lesson I learned with the Understanding the Samanas project was simple, I though it was rewarding, like Siddhartha had "no desire to walk on water" (24) but still reaped other personal rewards on his path to suffering, I think that even though I tried hard to remember about my fasting, suffering in this way would not work well for me since I am just too busy to remember, if that makes sense.

=Awakening=

The Quote
When Siddhartha becomes awakened, his eyes are opened to nature, color, beauty, and mystery. He sees the world with a fresh perspective and "looked around him as if seeing the world for the first time. The world was beautiful, strange, and mysterious. Here was blue, here was yellow, here was green, sky and river, woods and mountains, all beautiful, all mysterious and enchanting, and it the midst of it, he, Siddhartha, the awakened one, on the way to himself. All this, all this yellow and blue, river and wood, passed for the first time across Siddhartha's eyes" (39). =Analysis= To Siddhartha, awakening looked "beautiful, strange and mysterious" (39). When I heard the passages describing his awakening, the rivers and mountains jumped out at me because those natural features are very relatable. I see beautiful mountains here in Charlottesville all the time, so it is easy to imagine a world of awakening, complete with "sky and river, woods and mountains, all beautfiul, all mysterious and enchanting" (39) that is centered around such beautiful scenery. Another key part of awakening is the mystery, and the unknown. A feeling of anticipation seems to overtake Siddhartha when "he, who was in fact like one who had awakened or was newly born must begin his life completely afresh" (40). Siddhartha here is leaving behind the old world, complete with the grove of trees, and journeying down the long path of the joy of his awakening. In my picture, I included the grove of trees behind Siddhartha, and I portrayed Siddhartha's path as almost floating away into the sky since he is truly at one with the natural beauty of the world in this scene.

=Kamala=

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 * Name**: Kamala


 * Location**: Pleasure Grove


 * Eyes**: Dark Brown with flecks of bright gold


 * Hair**: Black

My name is Kamala. I was born and raised in a small village before moving to a larger town after my family became very rich. I love jewels, exotic fabrics, and bright colors when it comes to my atire and accomodations. I have a particular frustration towards dirt and raggedness because after I left my village I never looked back on the poverty that I left behind. I know how to give a meaningful kiss, which is why "'I am not lacking in clothes, shoes, bangles, and all sorts of pretty things"' (57). While I have little female friends, I usually have enough customers to keep myself relatively distracted from my severe lack of feminine company. While it may not appear so, I try to keep my mind supple by doing a lot of reading. I think that a quick, witty tongue can be extremely useful when talking to anyone and everyone, especially if it's the quick tongue of a sharp person (like myself.)
 * About Me**

I am looking for a man who comes in fine clothes and shoes, and who brings me presents and money. The man must be willing to learn from me, recognize my superiority, and woo me through his words and respect. A potential lover of mine must be someone whose mind is open to new thoughts, pretenses, and ideas. Siddhartha was an ideal example when he said, "'You will find me an apt pupil, Kamala. I have learned more difficult things that what you have to teach me"' (54). Men who realize that they will learn much from me are the best men- they know that I will fufill their desires and expand their knowledge.
 * Looking For**

My hobbies include reading and making clothes. I love the art of carefully weaving fabric to create a scarf or shawl. I adore the feeling of finishing a book and feeling more accomplished intellectually than I did at the start. I also find a delightful pastime in creating my accessories, such as my "fan made of peacocks' feathers" (53), which took a long time to finish but was well worth the effort. Even though I have the money now to pay for a variety of luxuries, I suppose my roots in a poor village are what propels my desire to craft some of my own goods in my spare time. I like the feeling of being able to do things for myself.
 * Hobbies**

My Daily Life
1. After waking up, eat breakfast (usually pancakes.) 2. Go to class. 3. Spend lunch eating, chatting with friends, and working on the some homework. 4. After school, in the spring, head to rehearsal for the musical. 5. Come home and do my homework. 6. Go to bed.

Quote from Siddhartha "Siddhartha had learned how to transact business affairs, to exercise power over people, to amuse himself with women; he had learned to wear fine clothes, to command servants, to bathe in sweet-smelling waters. He had learned to eat sweet and carefully prepared foods, also fish and meet and fowl, spices and dainties, and to drink wine which made him lazy and forgetful" (77).

Analysis
Every now and then, my daily routine feels very monotonous. I wake up and eat breakfast, then go to school. During lunch, I tend to work on some homework and hopefully get a chance to chat with friends. In the spring, I go to rehearsal for the musical after school, then come home to do my homework before I go to bed. Even though I sometimes get caught up in my routine, focusing constantly on my schedule and squeezing in all of my homework, I look forward to the exciting parts of life that aren't really routine: a holiday, weekend plans with friends, something particularly interesting happening at school. Maybe I should stop always looking forward to things so much and really be in the moment. Occasionally, I have moments where I think to myself, wow, I'm completely happy, and for no particular reason. I'm just in a great mood. I cherish those moments, those days where everything seems to be a-okay. Like Siddhartha did many things every day, such as learning how to "how to transact business affairs, to exercise power over people, to amuse himself with women" (77), I feel as though I focus on little things that I do everyday instead of the big picture sometimes. It's important to step back every now and then and think about my life in a broader spectrum, rather than focusing on the small stuff that makes up my daily routine.

**River**
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**Song:** "River, Stay 'Way From My Door" by Frank Sinatra
"You keep goin' your way - I'll keep goin' my way (I'll keep goin' my way, you keep rollin' your way) River, stay 'way from my door
 * Lyrics:**

"The river flowed on towards its goal" (135). Siddhartha sees the river as the symbol of desire, passion, suffering, and yearning, the symbol of all emotions, as it continues to rush on and on forever. As the river "flowed on towards its goal" (Hesse 135), Siddhartha knew that it would go on forever, forever the echo of thousands of voices. Sinatra echoes this message when he tells the river "you keep rollin' your way" (Sinatra) because he is saying that the river is always going to go its own direction, and will never stop. The river will roll on forever, in its own unique way: the combination of emotion and water and voices. Sinatra and Siddhartha both understand the never-ending flow of the river.
 * Quote from the text:**
 * Analysis:**

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**Lyrics:**
But only now my love has grown And it gets stronger, in every way And it gets deeper, let me say And it gets higher, day by day

And do I love you my oh my Yeh river deep mountain high If I lost you would I cry

"It was the goal of all of them, yearning, desiring, suffering; and the river's voice was full of longing, full of smarting woe, full of insatiable desire" (134-135). In "River Deep, Mountain High," Tina Turner is acknowledging that the river is a representation of how powerful her love is because her "love has grown" (Turner) and it is "river deep mountain high" (Turner). Siddhartha finds a similar message because to him, the river, in addition to many other emotions, represents the power of lust, as it is "full of insatiable desire" (Hesse 134-135). The two pieces are also saying that the river is deep: Turner compares the river's depth to her love's depth while Siddhartha realizes that the river's depth is full of the various emotions the river carries. Also in both pieces, the river is paralleled to love and desire (specifically love in Turner's piece.)
 * Quote from the text:**
 * Analysis:**

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**Song:** "Proud Mary" by Ike and Tina Turner **Lyrics:**
And we're rolling, rolling, rolling on the river Listen to the story "The picture of his father, his own picture, and the picture of his son all flowed into each other. Kamala's picture also appeared and flowed on, and the picture of Govinda and others emerged and passed on. They all became part of the river" (134). Siddhartha believes that all parts of his story became a part of the river, which represents the passage of time and emotion. He feels that "[everything] flowed into each other...They all became part of the river" (134). In "Proud Mary," Ike and Tina Turner convey a similar message of how they're "rolling on the river/Listen to the story" (Turner). The Turners are saying that during life, people are constantly flowing on the river that is made up of everything that happens to them, and that the river tells an overarching story. Both pieces provide a message of how all components of one's story eventually become a part of, and eternally roll with, the river. This analogy makes sense because like a never-ending story, the river's waters never stop moving.
 * Quote from the text:**
 * Analysis:**

=Om= Walter Billings, age sixteen, lived in an elaborate house on a sprawling, well-mannered property in the uppity part of town. Each morning, his mother drove him to the prestigious private school he attended and drove him home in the afternoon. His comfortable and relaxed routine was one lazy day after another, and although it was quite an enviable existence, Walter eventually began to feel “the seeds of discontent within him” (Hesse 5). Without telling his parents, Walter signed up for a student exchange program and shocked them with the news. They eventually allowed him to go, and he left on a journey of determination to find himself, to find a deeper purpose. In the small European village he visited, he attended an all-boys school in an impoverished area where the people were kind and preached messages of fasting and pilgrimage. Even though Walter appreciated their kindness and the selflessness, he felt that his mental journey was not being fulfilled in the village. Halfway through the year, he decided to go backpacking through Europe, though, to his dismay, his good friend Andrew refused to join him. Andrew had grown to love the classes of a particular schoolmaster, but Walter was ready to move on. Walter found a part-time job working in another town, and although the days were tedious and repetitive like his old life, he met a beautiful girl named Sera. After several weeks of dating, he felt as though it really was time to move on because the circular existence in the town wasn’t mentally fulfilling. He still didn’t know how he, a privileged American boy, was supposed to fit into the world. Regrettably, he bid farewell to Sera, though they vowed to meet again eventually. Along a beautiful river in Greece was a small youth hostel, managed by an old man, Niko, who intrigued Walter with his few, but concisely intelligent words. Walter decided to stay there for a few nights, and treasured the peaceful sound of the river as he laid in his bunk at night. Walter’s life took an unexpected turn for the worst, however. Sera was deported from the country she lived in and sent her little brother to live with Walter in the youth hostel for several weeks while she worked out the legal procedures. Even though Walter tried to open up to the boy and appear friendly, the little brother “remained unfriendly and sulky, when he proved arrogant and defiant” (118). A simple task like throwing a heap of clothes into the washing machine was too much for the brother, Henry, and he eventually ran off to live with his distant relatives because he so detested his life with Walter in the youth hostel. Although Walter became deeply disappointed, feeling like he had failed Sera and himself, Niko taught him more about life each day. He taught Walter about the constantly new emotions and occurrences that life brought, and how the rushing river was the ideal representation of “himself and his relatives and all the people he had ever seen” (135). Walter felt as though he truly new the meaning of life now. Walter worked co-managing the hostel with Niko, and eventually one day Andrew returned on his way through Europe. Andrew stayed with them, and Walter taught Andrew about how the river made up everything, and everything made up the river, and the river’s flow was a representation of life itself. They existed peacefully, and although it was a routine existence, Walter felt as though he had finally achieved his purpose, because everyday the river brought new thoughts and ideas to his brain and his soul.

= Works Cited =

Hesse, Herman. //Siddhartha//. New York: Bantam, 1971.