MeredithHSB

Meredith's Scrapbook This is the place where I will write about the journey I follow to self-realization. My goal is to gain wisdom and take steps towards enlightening myself. I will be following the journey of Siddhartha, the title character of Herman Hesse's Siddhartha, as a model for my own journey. The steps I have taken follow.

=__**With The Samanas**__=

The Assignment
To get a feeling for how the Samanas, Indian ascetics that are found in the novel // Siddhartha //, try to reach enlightenment, we gave up something we enjoy for a week or added something in that we would not enjoy. I chose to clean my room.

Let's Get Rolling!
At first, I became actually excited about cleaning my room. Don't get me wrong, I hated the prospect that I would actually have to //clean// my room. But the idea of the sparkling clean room that would come after: heaven. I had fun cleaning to music since it was relaxing to actually have //time// to listen to music. Even better, I could tell my mom that it was homework and therefore I was //required// to clean my room. I was incredibly excited for the next Wednesday, when I was //sure// that my room would finally be clean. Similarly, Siddhartha set out on his journey to enlightenment optimistic about the outcome.

[[image:http://www.sonofthesouth.net/uncle-sam/images/clean-your-room.jpg width="223" height="294" align="right"]]
After the initial euphoria of the first day, I came face-to-face with the reality of everyday extracurricular activites. At several points throughout the week I was unable to clean very much due to these extracurriculars. I ended up just feeling guilty about how I had been able to clean so much those first couple of days but how little I was doing now. I was becoming discouraged, losing sight of the final goal. For me, "the world had a bitter taste. Life was torment" (Hesse 7). I barely had time for any of my other homework and this assignment was piled on top, requiring much more investment of time than any of my other homework. It was torment to not clean my room, yet it was torment as well to clean it. My guilt or my stress, respectively, dictated the bitterness in the middle of the week.

==  Final Reflections == I felt every day that I had to top the achievement of the previous day, and that even a little wasn't enough. I could never ultimately reach a clean room, which came to represent enlightenment. Instead, I was constantly drawn back by the human failing to do a less-than-perfect job, and I resented it. Similarly, "even though Siddhartha escaped from self a thousand times... the return was unavoidable... and once again [he] felt the torment of the cycle that was imposed upon him" (Hesse 9). Ultimately I was unable to fully clean my room and reach "enlightenment" (the completely clean room). Even though I cleaned it time and time again, escaping from my busy schedule, the return to clutter was inevitably waiting. The torment of trying and trying and making time for this endeavor but for all my efforts to go to waste was disheartening.

=__ Awakening __=

The Quote
What does Siddhartha's "Awakening" look like? Is this the same thing as reaching Enlightenment? In the text, Siddhartha becomes awakened to the world around him after leaving the Samanas and Gotama (the Buddha). He sees "the world for the first time. The world was beautiful strange and mysterious. Here was blue, here was yellow, here was green, sky and river, woods and mountains, all beautiful, all mysterious and enchanting, and in the midst of it, he, Siddhartha, the awakened one, on the way to himself. All this, all this yellow and blue, river and wood, passed for the first time across Siddhartha's eyes. It was no longer the magic of Mara, it was no more the veil of Maya, it was no longer meaningless and the chance diversities of the appearances of the world, despised by deep-thinking Brahmins, who scorned diversity, who sought unity. River was river, and if the One and Divine in Siddhartha secretly lived in blue and river, it was just the divine art and intention that there should be yellow and blue, there sky and wood -- and here Siddhartha. Meaning and reality were not hidden somewhere behind things, they were in them, in all of them" (39).

Analysis
In the passage, the only three colors mentioned are "blue,...yellow,...[and] green" (39). Therefore, I chose to draw everything in my picture in these three colors. The passage also mentions the "sky flowed, and river; forest jutted upward, and mountains" (22). I drew the river and sky as flowing, either on a curving path off the page or as curling waves of wind in the sky. I also attempted to make the trees and the mountains as pointy as possible, in order to give the impression that they were jutting upwards. The setting makes the story seem more revelatory, as Siddhartha can fully appreciate the beauty of nature in his moment of awakening, rather than a dull city view. I think that Hesse chose this setting, not only for its beauty Siddhartha could fully appreciate after being awakened, but also for the symbolic archetypes. The symbolic archetype of water invokes ideas of rebirth and big changes, which is certainly applicable to Siddhartha's awakening. However, wind also invokes impermanence, which could be a reference to how Siddhartha's awakening is fleeting, as his time with the child-people erases all good things that came from it. The color yellow is also a symbol for enlightenment and wisdom, which Siddhartha has gained by being awakened.

=__Kamala__=

Name:
Kamala

Location:
I live in a large town, of which I am the owner of a large unfenced grove. It is there that I spend the majority of my time, reposing on a sedan chair. I also own a house in the town.

Eyes:
I have "artful eyebrows painted in a high arch" framing my "dark eyes, clever and observant... clever arched eyes" (51).

Hair
I have "heaped-up black hair" (51). My hair is always full of elegant trinkets that my male acquaintances heap upon me as well.

About Me:
My other looks are quite stunning as well, I assure you. I have "hands... firm and smooth, long, and slender, with broad gold bangles on [my] wrists" (51). My "bright fair face" is supported by a "clear slender neck above [my] green and gold gown" (51). Of course, we must not forget my "bright red mouth like a freshly cut fig" (51). My appearance shows my ever-resplendent vanity, which I think is good since the focus on myself draws in all my admirers.

Hobbies/Profession:
I enjoy riding in an "ornamented sedan chair carried by four people" (51). I am a "well-known courtesan" (51) offering "instruction in kissing" (58). I enjoy spending my time being served by my servants and instructing worthy others in the true art of love. I hold somewhat lofty beliefs of myself, that I am above all others, yet I am sure that you, my dear, can fulfill all my expectations.

Looking For:
I am looking for "young men... in fine clothes, in fine shoes... scent in their hair and money in their purses"(54). They must have "clothes, fine clothes, and shoes, fine shoes, and plenty of money in his purse and presents for [me]" (54). These values sound materialistic, yet how will I teach you anything about love if you do not have anything to give in return?

=__Samsara__=

My Typical Tuesday Routine
1. Wake up to a crazy talking alarm. 2. Eat breakfast. 3. Be driven to school. 4. Attend math club. 5. Attend classes. 6. Eat lunch. 7. Attend more classes. 8. Attend Academic Team Practice. 9. Be driven to French class. 10. Attend French class. 11. Be driven to Choir Practice. 12. Snack in the parking lot. 13. Attend choir. 14. Be driven home. 15. Eat dinner. 16. Start homework. 17. Get ready for bed. 18. Sleep.

Analysis
I think that my daily routines are both good and bad for me. I am glad that my days are full of engaging activities that make me happy, however the time lost in these activities sometimes angers me. Keeping on your toes all the time can be quite tiring, and I often find that I become worn out quickly, longing for rejuvenating holidays, just as, "like a thin mist, weariness descended on Siddhartha, slowly, every day a little denser, every month a little more opaque, every year a little heavier" (42). Although I enjoy being so involved in my own activities, sometimes I wish for a step back. It seems as if everything passes by so much quicker when you're engaged in activities, and so I feel as if "the years [speed] by... barely [feeling] their passing" (40) just like Siddhartha. I think that, since I am so caught up in my regular day-to-day activities, I may be caught in Samsara just as Siddhartha was.

__ **The River** __

**Song:**
"Moon River" by Henry Mancini and Johnny Mercer

**Lyrics:**
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker, wherever you're going I'm going your way. Two drifters off to see the world. There's such a lot of world to see. We're after the same rainbow's end--

Quotes from the Text:
"'You will learn it,' said Vasudeva, 'but not from me. The river taught me how to listen, and you will learn that from it, too'" (56). "He lived alongside Vasudeva like a friend; and at times they exchanged words with each other, words few in number but maturely considered" (57). "He saw the face of a fish, a carp, its mouth opened in infinite pain, a dying fish with eyes glazing over... he saw the bodies of men and women naked in the positions and battles of furious love" (80).

Analysis:
When the song references "two drifters off to see the world" (Mancini+Mercer) it is alluding that the two drifters are, in fact, friends undertaking this large journey together. Siddhartha "lived alongside Vasudeva like a friend" (Hesse 57) undertaking the large intellectual journey of learning from the river. Siddhartha and Vasudeva are both searching to learn from the river, since it can "[teach] them how to listen" (Hesse 56). This is similar to how in //Moon River//, the two friends are "after the same rainbow's end" (Mancini+Mercer). Both Siddhartha and Vasudeva are searching for the same thing, as the two friends search for the same thing in the song. Finally, the song references the river as a "dream maker... heart breaker" (Mancini+Mercer). These two sides of the river are shown when Siddhartha shows his ever-changing, flowing river-face to Govinda, who sees "a carp, its mouth opened in infinite pain" but also "men and women naked in the positions and battles of furious love" (Hesse 80).

==

==

**Song:**
"Take Me to the River" by Al Green

**Lyrics:**
Take me to the river And wash me down Won't you cleanse my soul Put my feet on the ground Take me to the river.

Quotes from the Text:
"He looked down and discovered that he was totally imbued with the desire to let himself go and sink in that water... there was nothing left for him but to obliterate himself" (47). "Never had sleep so refreshed him, so renewed him, so rejuvenated him" (48).

**Analysis:**
Siddhartha goes to the river after his time as a child-person to "obliterate himself" (Hesse 47) but ends up "renewed" (47) similar to how the singer asks to "cleanse [his] soul" (Green). The obliteration that Siddhartha would have carried out was a sort of cleansing, for it drove out the child-person inside him and reawakened him to the preciousness of life. His feet were once more "on the ground" (Green) and he could continue with his journey to enlightenment. ==

==

Song:
"Riverlove" by Tom Joy and Brant N. Miller

Lyrics:
Since I met you by still water With the stars above Don't know just what to do My friends tell me I oughta Stop losin' sleep And drift away from you You whisper that you've never Known currents of Your love to be so strong Every time I try to hold you I feel you move I feel you passin' by You slip away Like water though my fingers I linger on Can't seem to say goodbye

Quotes from the Text:
"Soon they all reached the hut, where Siddhartha was standing by the hearth engaged in lighting a fire. He looked up, and the first thing he saw was the boy's face, which strangely jogged his memory, reminding him of things forgotten. Then he saw Kamala, whom he recognized at once, although she was lying in the ferryman's arms; and then he knew that it was his own son whose face had been such a reminder to him, and his heart jumped in his bosom" (60-1). "But he loved him, and the sorrow and care that came with love were dearer to him than happiness and joy had been without the boy" (63). "Vasudeva said: 'Take him to the town, take him to his mother's house; there will still be servants there, hand him over to them. And if there are no more, take him to a teacher, not for the sake of instruction, but so he can be among other boys, and among girls, and enter his own world'" (65).

Analysis:
Siddhartha first meets his son at "the hut" (Hesse 60) near the water, when he realizes "it was his own son" (Hesse 61). At the very beginning of //Riverlove//, the narrator recalls he "met [him] by still water" (Joy+Miller) similar to how the to ferrymen's hut was by the shallows of the river, the still or slow-moving portion of the river. The song also states how the narrator's friends tell him he "oughta... drift away from [him]" (Joy+Miller) just as Vasudeva instructs Siddhartha to let go of his son and "take him to the town... [to] enter his own world" (Hesse 65). Finally, the song mentions that the narrator had "never known currents of [his] love to be so strong" (Joy+Miller) similar to how Siddhartha "loved [his son], and the sorrow and care that came with love were dearer to him than happiness and joy had been without the boy" (Hesse 63). Siddhartha loves his son so much that he would rather suffer through his life alongside his son rather than forsake him for a day of happiness.