RachelScrabook7

=Rachel's Self-Realization Scrapbook=

=With the Samanas=

The Assignment
To get a feeling for how the Samanas, Indian ascetics that are found in the novel //Siddhartha//, try to reach enlightenment, we gave up something we enjoy for a week. I chose to gave up orange juice, because it's part of my daily routine.

=The Beginning= In the beginning of the week, giving up orange juice was harder than I thought it would be. I had to make a pretty active effort to not drink orange juice in the morning or during dinner. I usually have about 2 or 3 glasses of OJ a day--typically 1 in the morning and 1 or 2 at night. This is when I craved orange juice the most. I "had one single goal-to become empty, to become empty of thirst" (Hesse 14). During this time, I realized how much drinking orange juice is a part of my daily routine. When I was little, my parents would make me drink orange juice all the time, because they think it's some kind of miracle juice. I guess I've become so used to it that I didn't realize how much I liked it!

=The Middle= In the middle of the week, I started to lose willpower. On Day 3, I drank a glass of OJ and didn't even regret it--it tasted really good. Without orange juice, "the world tasted bitter. Life was pain." (14). By Day 4, I was back on track and didn't have any orange juice. However, I did have chocolate milk that day and I think that that may have given me my sugar fix for the day, making me not notice the lack of orange juice. By the middle of the week, the novelty of self-deprivation was quickly wearing off.

=The End= By the end of the week, I found it a lot easier to go without orange juice. I don't think that I would like to give something up //forever though.// That's a long time... At the end of this self-deprivation, I found myself asking whether I had become a better person "or [am I] perhaps going in circles-- [I] who thought to escape from the cycle?"(18). I agree with the conclusion that Siddhartha came to: self-deprivation is a pretty extreme measure. There are definitely some things that people should not always indulge in and people should practice some forms of self-discipline, but I think completely cutting yourself off from something you like doesn't really do that much. It was interesting to try self-deprivation, even if only for a week, though.

=Awakening=

When Siddhartha became enlightened, he felt like a new man. He felt like something had left him, "like the old skin that a snake sheds." (Hesse 37) This is why I drew Siddhartha's new body leaving the old, grey body. Through these new eyes, he saw "all this yellow and blue, river and wood" for what felt like the first time. (39) He realized he "had awakened" and "was newly born." (40) This was Siddhartha's awakening.

When I drew this picture, I wanted to mix the literal with the figurative. In the corners of the picture, I tried to make it seem as if it was an illusion; as if it wasn't the real world. I drew a pink Siddhartha coming out of his old, grey body to represent his rebirth. I drew the scenery as I imagined it from the book.

=Kamala=
 * N **[[image:kamala.png width="467" height="334" align="left"]]** ame ** : Kamala


 * Location ** : The Pleasure Grove


 * Eyes ** : Deep Brown


 * Hair ** : Luscious and Dark

**About Me:** I am a beautiful and confident woman, unlike any other.I am not afraid of men and I am not afraid of getting what I want. "Many young men come to me" (Hesse 54) and they desire to be with me. I am a great lover and can teach a man many things about physical love, if he follows what I ask of him. I live a luxurious life and I truly enjoy it.

**Hobbies / Profession:** For a living, I teach men how to be good lovers. In my free time, I enjoy listening to poetry, meeting new people and bantering with them.

**Looking For:** I want a man who has "plenty of money in his purse" (54). He should be well dressed and be able to give many "presents for Kamala" (54).I expect him to be well groomed, for I am a very beautiful and well groomed woman. A man should be willing to work for me-- I am no common woman. I deserve the best kind of man and if he is good to me, I can teach him many things about love. =Samsara=

Quote from Siddhartha
"Slowly, like moisture entering the dying tree trunk, slowly filling and rotting it, so did the world and inertia creep into Siddhartha's soul; it slowly filled his soul, made it heavy, made it tired, sent it to sleep. But on the other hand his senses became more awakened, they learned a great deal, experienced a great deal." (76-77)

My Daily Life
1) Wake up. 2) Eat breakfast. 3) Go to school. 4) Go to practice. (Cross Country in Fall, Indoor Track in Winter, Lacrosse in Spring) 5) Eat dinner with my parents. 6) Do homework. 7) Go to bed. Every weekday, I wake up around 7:00 am. Sometimes I try and see if I can get away with waking up later, but it never really works and I always end up running late. I then eat breakfast, usually cereal, and get ready. The next seven hours are spent at school, which can sometimes be fun, but I'm usually too tired or the lesson is boring to me. Honestly, I usually just like a class if I have a lot of friends in it. After school, I go to sports practice. In the fall, I ran Cross Country and then I'm running Indoor Track now and I will play Lacrosse in the spring. I usually dread going to sports during the day, but have fun once I'm actually there. However, when I have a break between seasons, it surprises me just how much more time I have without sports. Not only do you have an extra 2 hours at school, but when you get home you are exhausted and would rather do anything than homework. Once I get home, I have dinner with my parents. Next, I start my homework. It's so hard to me to focus on homework at this point. I usually give myself a lot of breaks and tell myself that I'll wake up early the next day to finish it, which I often do. I usually finish/give up on my homework around midnight, take a shower and go to bed. I think my routines have a mixed effect on my life. In a way, I'm attached to them. The thought of completely leaving behind my routine doesn't sound very good to me, but I also wouldn't want to keep this routine forever.

=The River= media type="youtube" key="nAB4vOkL6cE" height="315" width="420"

Song: "The River" by Bruce Springsteen
Is a dream a lie if it don't come true Or is it something worse that sends me Down to the river though I know the river is dry Down to the river, my baby and I Oh down to the river we ride
 * Lyrics:** Now those memories come back to haunt me, they haunt me like a curse


 * Quote:** "Siddhartha reached the long river in the wood, the same river across which a ferryman had once taken him when he was still a young man and had come from Gotama's town. He stopped at this river and stood hesitatingly on the bank. Fatigue and hunger had weakened him. Why should he go any further, where and for what purpose?" (88)


 * Analysis:** Both the narrator of "The River" and Siddhartha experience a similar experience. The narrator of the song thinks about the time that has passed and grows nostalgic for the memories and dreams of his past. Siddhartha finds himself at a river where he had been in his youth and remembers the happier memories of his youth. Suddenly, he questions why he should continue his journey. The narrator of "The River" and Siddhartha both begin to question their current life situation after reminiscing the past.

media type="youtube" key="VN_Aq2W2Yi0" height="315" width="420"

Song: "River Deep, Mountain High" by Ike and Tina Turner
When I was a little girl I had a rag doll Only doll I've ever owned Now I love you just the way I loved that Rag doll But only now my love has grown

And it gets stronger, in every way And it gets deeper, let me say And it gets higher, day by day


 * Quote:** "Govinda had also aged, but he still showed the old characteristics in his face--eagerness, loyalty, curiosity, anxiety. But when Govinda, feeling his glance, raised his eyes and looked at him, Siddhartha saw that Govinda did not recognize him. Govinda was pleased to find him awake. Apparently he had sat there a long time waiting for him to awaken, although he did not know him." (91)

media type="youtube" key="l_HnkwzbAIk" height="315" width="560"
 * Analysis:** The relationship in "River Deep, Mountain High" and the relationship between Govinda and Siddhartha are similar in multiple ways. The narrator of the song declares how her love is always getting stronger as the relationship grows older and older. For Govinda, although he may not recognize his good old friend, he still has a deep love for him that has grown stronger as time has progressed. In a way, Siddhartha may be Govinda's "rag doll."

Song: "I Follow Rivers" by Lykke Li
Oh I beg you, can I follow Oh I ask you why not always Be the ocean where I unravel Be my only, be the water and I'm wading You're my river running high, run deep run wild


 * Quote:** "And at that moment, in that splendid hour, after his wonderful sleep, permeated with Om, how could he help but love someone and something. That was just the magic that had happened to him during his sleep and the Om in him--he loved everything, he was full of joyous love towards everything that he saw. And it seemed to him that was just why he was previously so ill--because he could love nothing and nobody." (94)


 * Analysis:** The narrator of "I Follow Rivers" and Siddhartha seem to be experiencing very similar feelings. The narrator of the song is realizing that the person she is singing about makes her feel complete and without him or her, she doesn't know who she is. Siddhartha's realization with Om is similar. He realizes that Om makes him complete as a person and that the reason he was so unhappy before was that he was not able to love without Om.