BaileyScrapbook3

=**Bailey's Self-Realization Digital Scra****pbook**=

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This is the place where I will write about the journey I follow to self-realization. My goal is to gain wisdom and takes steps towards enlightening myself. I will be following the journey of Siddhartha, the title character of Herman Hesse's //Siddhartha//, as a model for my own journey. The steps I have taken follow.===== =**With The Samanas: My Week Without Music**=

=The Assignment=

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To get a feeling for how the Samanas, Indian ascetics that are found in the novel //Siddhartha//, try to reach enlightenment, we gave up something we enjoy for a week. I chose to give up music, because I wanted to see what kind of affect it would have on me.=====

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The first day of giving up listening to music wasn't that bad. I knew that I had to really do this to really get a good understanding of self-deprivation. The only thing I noticed was that I watched more TV when I should have been doing homework. I usually listen to music when I do my homework. The next day I woke up and had to finish some of my work without music and then I went through my morning routine and got on the bus all without music. I was really tired and my music usually picks me up and gets me going in the morning almost like caffeine. Hesse says, "he only ate once a day" (13), like Siddhartha it felt like I was starving myself, but of enjoyment, and happiness.=====

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Being tired wasn't the only thing, though. I was angry and very irritable and I began snapping at people for no reason. I didn't understand that it could have this affect on me. I started singing old songs at the top of my lungs when I was in the shower. Then I couldn't remember the lyrics and I was freaking out. I wanted so bad just to get my phone and blast my music and remember the words. Like Siddhartha said, "the world tasted bitter. Life was pain" (14), I felt like I was in pain. I couldn't concentrate and nothing was going well, and I was frustrated with myself for not knowing the words.=====

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I was dying to listen to listen to my music. I was getting so angry and was feeling to tired. I had an away game that day and the bus ride there was torture. Two hours of sitting, trying to sleep in complete silence while everyone else closed their eyes and relaxed to their soothing music. As Siddhartha heard news of the Buddha he began to want to see him, to question him, "the name of Gotama Buddha continually reached the ears of young men, spoken of well and ill, in praise and in scorn" (20). Siddhartha heard news of the enlightened one and wanted so badly to leave the Samanas, just as I saw people contentedly listening to their music and I envied them.=====

=**Awakening**=

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Siddhartha reached enlightenment after leaving the grove with the Buddha and Govinda. It looked like he was seeing the world for the first time and he began to appreciate the nature all around him, and started to find himself in the world. I chose to draw Siddhartha in the nature surrounded by tress and the river because, "he looked around as if seeing the world for the first time... Here was blue, here was yellow, here was green, sky and river, woods and mountains" (39).=====

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I drew the stick figure walking on the path towards himself because the books says, "Siddhartha, the awakened one, on way to himself" (39). The author then adds, "immediately he moved on again and began to walk quickly and impatiently, no longer homewards, no longer to his father, no longer backwards" (42). Siddhartha is on way to himself, he learns that the path is not leaving yourself but finding your true self.=====

The stick figure, Siddhartha, has a star near his head because, "he stood alone like a star in the heavens" (41).
=**Kamala**=



**Hair** **:** Brown with caramel streaks

 * About me:** My name is Kamala. I love jewels, exotic fabrics, and bright colors I know how to give a meaningful kiss if that's what you're looking for, which is why "'I am not lacking in clothes, shoes, bangles, and all sorts of pretty things"' (57). I have enough company to keep occupied, but sometimes I can drive them away with my witty tongue, they're not used to such an outspoken woman.

I am looking for a man who comes in fine clothes and shoes, someone who can offer me something useful, be it money, presents, or sweet poetry. You must be willing to learn from me and catch my attention by words or special actions. A potential lover of mine must be someone whose mind is open to new thoughts, experiences, and ideas he must also respect me and my needs. My former lover, Siddhartha, was a perfect example when he said, "'You will find me an apt pupil, Kamala. I have learned more difficult things that what you have to teach me"' (54).
 * Looking For **

My hobbies include eating fine foods and learning from whatever knowledge a lover may possess. I love hearing your smarts if you have any, if not we can skip that part and I can teach you what I know, for I have years of experience. I also find pleasure in creating my accessories, such as my "fan made of peacocks' feathers" (53), which took a long time to finish but was well worth the effort. I may have the money to buy such goods, but it's something to keep my entertained.
 * Hobbies **

=**Samsara**=

**My daily routine:**
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 * 1) =====Wake up=====
 * 2) Take a shower
 * 3) Get ready: get dressed, do my hair, do my make up, pack my backpack, and make my lunch.
 * 4) Eat breakfast
 * 5) Go to school (get bored)
 * 6) Do homework until I collapse from exhaustion

**Analysis:**
My day follows pretty much the same routine, it changes slightly in detail but in general it's the same. I get up, take a shower and get ready for school. Then, I eat breakfast, go to school, then go home and maybe watch some tv or listen to music and then do homework until I go to bed. I wish that my day could be spiced up a bit, I want something interesting to happen so that nothing is the same routine maybe something completely weird. I feel like I get so distracted and so stressed by homework or social media sites that I forget that it's okay to make mistakes and take a break every once in a while. I stay up so late doing homework that I'm grumpy the next day and that keeps me from really enjoying each day, maybe if I wasn't so worn out I would enjoy school more. When I get distracted I sometimes feel like Siddhartha in Samsara, he forgot what he was trying to reach and lost himself, "the years passed by. Enveloped by comfortable circumstances, Siddhartha hardly noticed their passing. He had become rich. He had long possessed a house of his own and his own servants, and a garden at the outskirts of town, by the river" (75).

= = =**By The River**= media type="youtube" key="qpq1kw3MXcE" height="315" width="420"

"In his heart he heard the newly awakened voice speak, and it said to him: "Love this river, stay by it, learn from it." Yes, he wanted to learn from it, he wanted to listen to it. It seemed to him that whoever understood this river and its secrets, would understand much more, many secrets, all secrets" (101).

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I really like this song and I love Fleet Foxes and it mentioned a river and then washing in the rain. Siddhartha wanted to stay by the river and he wanted to learn from it, this song is like Siddhartha's experience because in the song he may have become cleansed from washing in the rain and learned from the men that pulled him out.=====

media type="youtube" key="r6SzcEBT6W8" height="315" width="420" align="center"

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"Siddhartha reached the long river in the wood, the same river across which a ferryman had once taken him when he was still a young man and had come from Gotama's town. He stopped on this river and stood hesitatingly on the bank... Why should he go any further, where, and for what purpose?" =====

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Siddhartha was cautious of coming back to the river, it made him wonder what significance it played in his life story to reach enlightenment. In this song (adapted from an old song) Michael Buble is leaving this girl who he wonders why he even left into his life much like Siddhartha questions the river's role. Crying a river may symbolize that it's over between the girl and Buble, or he finally found what was right for him, and for Siddhartha the river was what was right for him.=====

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Quote from the text:
"'The river laughed. Yes, that was how it was. Everything that was not suffered to the end and finally concluded, recurred, and the same sorrows were undergone" (132).

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Siddhartha felt humiliated by the river, he learned from it and by it laughing at him he also learned what suffering could mean. In the song, he feels overcome by the river, suffering, like he can't do anything to stop the river from overpowering him.=====

=**Om**=

When looking at enlightenment, it is easy to say that there can only be one path. Well, in Herman Hesse’s “Siddhartha”, that is not quite the case. One could argue that several characters went on their own path to enlightenment and even reached it, these characters being Gotama, Vasudeva, Siddhartha, and Govinda. Although some of them may have started on the same path, they all eventually found peace in their own way. "So many people, so many thousands, possess this sweet happiness, why not I?" (Hesse 69). Enlightenment, as depicted in this quote, is not a single path that everyone can follow; enlightenment is your own personal journey and reaching it requires hard work and devotion.

The first to reach enlightenment is Gotama, the Buddha. His path begins with asceticism and he continues down the path of self deprivation to find enlightenment in the loss of the self. Both Siddhartha and Govinda approach enlightenment in an ascetic outlook, but veer off on their separate roads to reach enlightenment. Gotama, Siddhartha, and Govinda find enlightenment in their own ways, but they all reached it, strengthening the idea that it is not a path that can be followed or taught necessarily.

However, Govinda didn’t understand this. He started out with Sidhartha as a Samana, an ascetic, who thinks the only way to be happy and at peace is to completely lose the self. They wander together and hear news of Gotama, the Enlightened One, who can show them the path to peace and happiness. Gotama becomes captivated by the Buddha’s teachings and calm nature and decides to become a monk, following Gotama’s predetermined path to enlightenment and loses Siddhartha. He eventually finds his old friends again who has nearly found his way to enlightenment. Seeing his best friend so calm and at peace prompts him to learn from Siddhartha and reuniting with his old friend brings him to enlightenment.

One man, Vasudeva, reaches enlightenment in an extremely unique way. He did not start out on an ascetic path, instead, being a ferryman, he found peace in the river. Being around it, listening to it, learning from it was his happiness, his serenity unique to him alone.

Perhaps the most important enlightenment is that of Siddhartha. His journey begins as a Samana. After meeting the Buddha with Govinda he decides that a life of self deprivation is not for him. Shortly after leaving the grove and Govinda he realizes that enlightenment is a path to himself rather than losing himself. He sees the worlds as if he is newly awakened, "he now looked on people differently, not as before but with less cleverness, less pride" (69). A new philosophy is inside him but he has to have life experience to find what his true self is. He goes from a beggar to a rich man, then returns to a poor ferryman who learns from the river and Vasudeva. He experiences nearly every emotion and he learns of the ways of city life, he really knows how he can handle each situation. Once he learns all there was to learn about himself, mainly from his time at the river, he reaches enlightenment and the student becomes the teacher. He teaches Govinda all his life’s experience who takes it in as his own and reaches his own enlightenment.

"[The] future is already completely there, you must revere the becoming, the possible, the concealed Buddha in yourself, in everyone" (77). Simply, this says that the future is already decided, but you have to catch up to it and match it. You must find the Buddha in yourself, your enlightenment, everyone has their own but it’s a matter of searching for it or letting life control you. In the book, each enlightened person reached it in a different way. Enlightenment is not a single, shared idea, it’s what feels right, what makes someone happy or what makes them feel at peace. Enlightenment is personal.