JuliaScrapbook2

=**Self-Deprivation**=

**The Assignment**
To get a feeling for how the Samanas, Indian ascetics that are found in the novel // Siddhartha //, try to reach enlightenment, we gave up something we enjoy for a week. I chose to give up sleeping in my bed, because it's technically not something I ** need **. Technically.

Beginning of the Week
The first night of my expedition was not so bad. I had chosen to give up sleeping on my bed--an attempt to get a taste of Siddhartha's ascetic life. Although my approach was effeminate and pathetic in the shadow of Siddhartha's "path of liberation from self, through pain, through voluntary suffering" (Hesse 8), it still began to have a great affect on my day-to-day life. It began with no discomfort, other than the idea that I had an increased accessibility to spiders. The second night, I was actually considering giving up already, the idea of this project seemed childish and silly to me. However, I continued on. When waking up the next morning, I had a bug bite on my face.

Middle of the Week
On the third day, the back pain began. It started in the lower half, and slowly progressed upward by Day 4. I began to lose sleep over the course of the night and doubt my mental durability in relation to the project, "Truly, nothing in the world has occupied my thoughts as much as this self of mine" (21). Not only had the back pain begun, but during the night I had accidentally kicked my cat in her midsection, causing her to whip around and dig her teeth into my foot. Once again, I was frustrated with the project, but promised myself I could make it through the week and I continued on.

End of the Week
On my last two days the pain had enveloped my entire back, not severe pain, but uncomfortable nonetheless. It felt as if it needed to be cracked constantly, leaving me with my hand constantly massaging my own back and diverting my attention from general education to focusing on cracking my back by leaning on my chair, almost exactly the opposite of Siddhartha's method, "practic[ing] denial of self; he practiced concentration" (8). My first reaction is to say that I have earned nothing from this project other than back pain. However, I do partially understand the ambition and total selflessness Siddhartha must have undergone to follow such stricts customs. With such a small and comparitively pathetic task, I feel that I have come to understand self-denial on a greater level. Not enough to go attain Enlightenment, mind you, but enough to have gotten something out of this project.

Awakening
Siddhartha reached awakening after speaking to the Buddha. To Siddhartha, awakening was "the world melt[ing] away from him all around, in which he stood alone like a star in the sky" (Hesse 23). I chose to draw Siddhartha with the head of a star because it demonstrates his awakening from the old world. He is illuminated because he is shedding his old body and stepping into his new life. The reason for the organic and rough lines all around him represent the melting away of the world around him; the mountain's levels of warm colors almost resemble lava. He still is thin and wears little clothing, because he has just abandoned the ascetic life and has not replenished himself. The colors are vibrant, displaying the beauty of the earth in the eyes of Siddhartha rather than the muddled colors that are seen by Buddha.

Kamala
Name: Kamala

Location: The Pleasure Grove

Hair: Black

About Me: I am beautiful, my lips are luscious and red. My eyebrows are well-groomed and dark, my neck long and sturdy. I have dark eyes, filled with secrets. I am headstrong and clever. My wit is overwhelming.

Hobbies/Profession: I own the "Pleasure Grove." I enjoy luring men into my abode and teaching them to love. I sell myself for money. I am a prostitute.

Looking For: The man that pursues me should be rich, elegant and handsome. He should shower me with gifts and have much to offer me, otherwise I have no interest. Should a poor man come to the door, I will turn him away.

Samsara
media type="custom" key="21310748" Each morning I wake up to a very messy room that I share with my sister. I complete the usual routine: brushing teeth, hair, breakfast etc. I get a ride to school with my friend's dad. After arriving at school, I learn and learn and learn about all sorts of things. Except in Math. I learn nothing in Math. I continue on to Drama Rehearsal directly after school and that usually lasts until about 10pm or later. As soon as I arrive home, I begin homework and usually fall asleep on my science textbook. My life is very much unlike the life of Siddhartha in a material sense, "he had tasted wealth, had tasted sensual delights, had tasted power," (40) Lastly, I dream good dreams about true love and being a princess and kittens raining from the skies and what not.

The River
media type="youtube" key="zSif77IVQdY" height="315" width="420"

Song: "Down to the River to Pray" by Alison Krauss
"As I went down to the river to pray, studying about that good ol' way. And who shall wear that starry crown? Good Lord show me the way," "Whoever understood that water and its secrets, he felt, would also understand much more, many secrets, all secrets" (54)
 * Lyrics:**
 * Quote from the text:**

**Analysis:**
Siddhartha sees the intelligence of simple things. He understands that the studying of the river would allow him to "understand much more." The song is relative to Siddhartha in other ways as well: Siddhartha learns from nature and prayer repeatedly throughout the book so going "down to the river to pray, studying about that good ol' way" (Krauss) is a familiar past time for him. The "starry crown" is representative of Enlightenment, demonstrating that achieving such would allow Siddhartha to stand among the stars looking down at earth with an entirely new perspective. Lastly, "Good Lord show me the way," is in a way, reference to himself. Siddhartha is the Lord of himself and through trials and difficulties, Siddhartha continue learns from himself about himself.

media type="youtube" key="46b4ur66TLs" height="315" width="420"

Song: "Lazy River" by Bobby Darin
"Linger awhile in the shade of a tree Throw away your troubles, dream with me." "Under a coconut palm, the sacred word om on his lips; he had then fallen asleep and now, awake again, he was looking at the world like a new person." In this case, Darrin's lyrics connect very literally with the passage from the text as far as "inger awhile in the shade of a tree," which Siddhartha had done at the beginning of the quote. Previously to Siddhartha's nap, however, he had nearly commited suicide--similar to "throw[ing] away your troubles." Lastly, whatever Siddhartha had dreamt had caused him to wake in a new light, allowing him to perceive the world entirely differently upon awakening.media type="youtube" key="X3cC6ZTkDtc" height="315" width="560"
 * Lyrics:**
 * Quote from the Text:**
 * Analysis:**

Song: "Moody River" by Frank Sinatra
"I looked into the muddy water and what could I see? I saw a lonely, lonely face just lookin' back at me Tears in his eyes and a prayer on his lips." "He felt as if the river had something special to tell him, something he did not yet know but was still awaiting him"(54).
 * Lyrics:**
 * Quote from the Text:**
 * Analysis:**

Om
Enlightenment is each to his own. There is no correct Enlightenment--there is no exact way. Each person, whether or not religious, has a potential Enlightenment that they can achieve. While some choose to ignore it, others chase after it wildly, constantly and wrecklessly looking under rocks and turning tables to find it--"So many people, so many thousands, possess this sweet happiness, why not I?" (Hesse 69). Some think of it as material things, while others understand it as entirely spiritual.

Siddhartha spends almost his entire life exploring different ways to achieve Enlightenment. By the end of the story, there is little he has not tried. He traveled in the wilderness, he listened to the river, he created a family, he deprived himself—all for the sake of attaining the “true way.” But, finally Siddhartha realized that if he stepped back and looked at the big picture—that was Enlightenment: a great overview of his life. He at last felt that he had obtained true wisdom; "He now looked on people differently, not as before but with less cleverness, less pride" (69). Without a doubt, had he not gone through each level of asceticism, he would not have achieved it simply because that is the way he was wired; that was the only way Siddhartha could achieve true Enlightenment.

Govinda, on the other hand, achieved Enlightenment through the path of another: the renowned Buddha. Govinda immediately connected with Buddha and his teachings because he felt that it was his calling, and indeed it was. When meeting up with Siddhartha once more, he was wise, he was happy. He had attained his Enlightenment.

Gotama, or Buddha took even another approach. He began with asceticism, as most do when first attempting to find the truth, and developed an entire way of enlightening himself that he found so logical and exceptional, he taught it to the world. His teachings alleviated thousands, allowing them to find structure in the chaos of finding their own specific path. So influential were the ideals of Buddha, that they carry on today in the form of Buddhism, educating peoples of all nations of one’s man path to Enlightenment that could very easily apply to their path of Enlightenment.

Lastly, Vasudeva, the ferryman and the man of the river, found peace in what he knew best: the soft song of the water. Just by listening, he was calm and serene, understanding what he saw as the world’s secrets. He learned more through the simple yet ever-changing flowing of the stream than many learn from deprivation and harsh asceticism. He let himself connect with something in such a deep way, that he became one with it, allowing him to be part of the Earth and educate himself in an entirely revolutionary way. This was Vasudeva’s path to Enlightenment, and Siddhartha benefited from it as well. Together, they were able to communicate on an almost inhuman level—learning simply from the ways of the world around them and in this they found peace and truth.

Stepping back, the answer is clear: no man can have the same Enlightenment as another. Each human has different struggles, different pleasures and mentalities. These things make the human race different from one another on an incomprehensible level—perhaps the same level that Enlightenment balances on. For this reason, it is harder to achieve Enlightenment by repeated struggles, so rather one should open their arms to the world and allow Enlightenment to come running to them, like a child to it’s mother, forever residing in her arms. "[The] future is already completely there, you must revere the becoming, the possible, the concealed Buddha in yourself, in everyone" (77).