ElizabethPeSB

=Elizabeth's Scrapbook=

=This is the place where I will write about the journey I follow to self-realization. My goal is to gain wisdom and takes steps towards enlightening myself. I will be following the journey of Siddhartha, the title character of Herman Hesse's Siddhartha, as a model for my own journey. The steps I have taken follow.=

=With The Samanas=

The Assignment
==== To get a feeling for how the Samanas, Indian ascetics that are found in the novel Siddhartha, try to reach enlightenment, we gave up something we enjoy for a week. I chose to give up both a straightening and curling iron, because it's technically not something I need. ====

Getting Started
==== The first couple of days that I went without a straightener or curling iron were pretty difficult. I was very self conscience of my hair because it appeared very frizzy and messy and worsened throughout the day. My hair is very thick and has an inconsistant wave to it, so without styling it in the mornings, I am guaranteed a bad hair day. It seemeed that no matter how many different alternatives I tried.... "the return was unavoidable" (Hesse 9). My hair aslways seemed to revert right back to its unmangable self within an hour.====

Mid- Week
====Towards the middle of the week I started to adjust to my hair not performing to its usual standards. I became less self- conscious and became more care-free with my appearance. It started to even effect the amount of effort I put into putting together an outfit and applying makeup. I started throwing my hair up in a messy bun and throwing on a sweatshirt and spending about two miniutes on my makeup in the mornings, and taking advantage of the extra time to sleep in. I learned that all these extra efforts to "look good" in the morning really were "a flight from the self, it is a brief escape from the torment of being 'I,' it is a brief numbing of the mind to counter pain and the senselessness of life" (Hesse 9). I learned that while there is nothing wrong with wearing makeup and perfecting my hair and wearing a cute, it is important to do these things while still being comfortable with the way you look without them.====

By The End
====By the end of the week I had become more comfortable with my natural appearance and less self-conscious about the way I looked. Now, when I applied makeup, I applied less and felt comfortable doing so. Several people actually complimented my hair, which to me looked like a hot mess. I followed that of Siddhartha in which "He took the path of liberation from self through pain, through voluntary suffering and conquest of the pain" (Hesse 9). Although I felt pretty poorly about myself in the beginning of this trial, I was freed of many of my personal self-conscious fears.====

=Awakening=

The Quote
What does Siddhartha's "Awakening" look like? Is this the same thing as reaching Enlightenment? In the text, Siddhartha becomes awakened to the world around him after leaving the Samanas and Gotama (the Buddha). He sees "the world for the first time. The world was beautiful strange and mysterious. Here was blue, here was yellow, here was green, sky and river, woods and mountains, all beautiful, all mysterious and enchanting, and in the midst of it, he, Siddhartha, the awakened one, on the way to himself. All this, all this yellow and blue, river and wood, passed for the first time across Siddhartha's eyes. It was no longer the magic of Mara, it was no more the veil of Maya, it was no longer meaningless and the chance diversities of the appearances of the world, despised by deep-thinking Brahmins, who scorned diversity, who sought unity. River was river, and if the One and Divine in Siddhartha secretly lived in blue and river, it was just the divine art and intention that there should be yellow and blue, there sky and wood -- and here Siddhartha. Meaning and reality were not hidden somewhere behind things, they were in them, in all of them" (Hesse 39).

Analysis:
I drew this image because in the book it describes the seen as very mystical and enchanting. I chose to draw the river as the center of the picture, seeing that it was an important aspect of Siddhartha's surroundings through his awakening. The author chose this scene to create a very raw and pure mood as Siddhartha is awakened and begins to explore the world. By setting the scene in nature, a symbol of purity is underlying Siddhartha's transformation. He separates himself from his old views just as the forest separates itself from the busy cities. =Kamala= **Name**: Kamala
 * Location**:
 * Eyes**: brown
 * Hair:** dark brown

**About Me (looks):**
My beauty is beyond compare and I have the most compelling brown eyes and soft, long, dark hair. I am always dressed to my utmost best and none can compete with my simple elegance. I have glowing skin and the softest smile. I where a soft assortment of makeup to make sure not to cover my natural beauty. The only thing that could be more suiting to my ravishing appearance would be that of a man whom I wish to find. For every man that comes across my path won't be able to help but tell me that "Never again shall I lower my eyes when a beautiful woman meets me" (Hesse 30).

**Hobbies / Profession (actions):**
I love being out and about amongst others, especially single men. I wouldn't say appealing to the opposite sex is my only hobby, but it is what comes most naturally to me. My appealing looks and cunning personality are things that I cannot change, so I choose to make the best of them. I am known for my abilities to love and so I spend my time maintaining such a reputation. I am also known for teaching men how to love. Within in seconds you too will be in Siddhartha's shoes for "Kamala gave him a long kiss, and in deep amazement Siddhartha felt that she was teaching him, that she was wise..." (Hesse 32).

**Looking For (speech, effect on others) :**
What I am looking for in a man is based off of strict desires that I will not stray from. I want a man that loves to the extent that I love and whose elegance is paired perfectly to that of mine. My desires in a man come from deep within and I know that with the right man, I will be swept off my feet just as he will be the moment he lays eyes on me. A man whose looks and cunning personality can overwhelm someone at first glance, is the man that should be standing next to me. A man to whom I can whisper "Your verses are beautiful, tan samana, and truly I lose nothing if I give you a kiss for them" (Hesse 32).

=Samsara=

My Daily Life
1)Wake up and get ready for school 2)Go to school early and study 3)School starts and I go to class 4)Eat a small lunch between classes 5)Go to the rest of my classes 6)Ride the bus home 7)Eat a snack and take my dog out 8)Start homework 9)Eat dinner and have short break 10)Finish homeowork and go to sleep



= Analysis = Everyday I drag myself up and get ready for school. Once I am ready to go, I get a ride to school where I arrive an hour early. In this time I usually study or do work. Finally, school starts, although I am already exhausted at this point. I quickly walk to my first class and the day begins. In between classes, I go to lunch wear I eat light because my nerves at school are making my stomach hurt. After I make it through the rest of my classes, I chat with my neighbors on the bus about the school day. Once I finally make it home, I take my dog out and then eat a snack before starting homework. Now, the homework begins!! Once dinner is ready I go downstairs and have some downtime with my family while I eat and then I'm headed back upstairs to finish homework and then I collapse into my bed where I never receive enough sleep.

This comic strip describes my everyday life. I hardly ever stray from this routine, within reason. In comparison to Siddhartha's life, mine seems to be lacking in many aspects. My daily routine seems to lack "the art of thinking, waiting, and fasting that directed his life; the people of the world, the child-people, had always still remained foreign to him, just as he was foreign to them" (Hesse 40). My routine contains no deeper purpose than to make it through the day. My routine negatively effects my life because it does not reflect the visions that I have passionately envisioned for my life and my future.

=By the River=

media type="custom" key="24665124"

__Quote From Text:__
===" All he knew was that he had left his earlier life behind; he knew that filled with disgust and misery, he had even wanted to throw away his life, but that he had regained consciousness by a river, under a coconut palm, the sacred word //om// on his lips; he had fallen asleep, and now, awake again, he was looking at the world like a new person" (Hesse 48).===

__Analysis:__
===The man in this song is obviously going through a hard time in his life and can't seem to find happiness. Although he does send a message that he will hold on and not give up. This is similar to that of Siddhartha when he wants to drown himself in the river but wakes up a new man and decides to keep trying and to look at the world with both eyes open. For "he had fallen asleep, and now, awake again, he was looking at the world like a new person" (Hesse 48). Both the song and the quote from the text share a common them of not giving up and pushing on through life's struggles.=== media type="custom" key="24665014"

__Quote From Text:__
===" Siddhartha reached the wide river in the forest...Fatigue and hunger had weakened him-- and, then, what reason had he to continue on, and where to, toward what goal? No, there was no longer any goals, nothing was left but the deep-seated, sorrowful longing to shake off that entire chaotic dream, to spit out that flat wine, to make an end of that pathetic, shameful life" (Hesse 47).===

__Analysis:__
===In this song, the person clearly is lost in how to solve the problems they are facing and are beginning to lose sight of any escape to peace. This is very similar to Siddhartha as he loses sight of his goals and no longer recognizes a purpose in his life. In Siddhartha's eyes, "there was no longer any goals, nothing was left but the deep-seated, sorrowful longing to shake off that entire chaotic dream" (Hesse 47). Not only are both of these people experiencing pain through not being able to find an outer escape to peace, but an escape to peace within themselves.=== media type="custom" key="24665088"

__Quote From Text:__
==="his glance fell on the river, and he saw the river going downward, too, moving constantly downstream, but singing merrily as it went. He was greatly pleased with that, and smiled at the river in a friendly way. Was this not the river in which he had wanted to drown, long ago, a hundred years ago, or had he just dreamed that?" (Hesse 51).===

__Analysis:__
===The emotions expressed through this song are that of exhaustion and acceptance. The person in the song has come to a point where they are spent and are choosing to be content with the way things seem to remain. Siddhartha experienced a similar acceptance when he looks at the river and decides to be content with its downward flow, as to him, the river represents his life. For, "he saw the river going downward, too, moving constantly downstream, but singing merrily as it went" (Hesse 51). These two people have both found the happiness in situations that once made them uneasy and restless.=== =Works Cited= Hesse, Herman. //Siddhartha//. New York: Bantam, 1971.