JackPSB

=Jack Pates's Self-Realization Digital Scrapbook=

This is the place where I will write about the journey I follow to self-realization. My goal is to gain wisdom and takes steps towards enlightening myself. I will be following the journey of Siddhartha, the title character of Herman Hesse's //Siddhartha//, as a model for my own journey. The steps I have taken follow.

=With The Samanas=

The Assignment
To get a feeling for how the Samanas, Indian ascetics that are found in the novel //Siddhartha//, try to reach enlightenment, we gave up something we enjoy for a week. I chose to give up ice cream, because I don't need it, but I often want it and am used to eating ice cream in great amounts after dinner.

Getting Started
In the beginning I was wanting to eat some after dinner, but managed to not do so. It was challenging because I usually finish up my homework after dinner, and always have a bowl of ice cream to go along with it, which is nice. I was a little less distracted while finishing my work but not very happy. Since I am not good with giving up things I enjoy, particularly in terms of food, it was frustrating to not have a treat after supper while working.

Mid-Week
By mid week I didn’t feel much different than in the beginning. However, I started to get used to not having a treat after dinner but instead eating an apple of carrots, because I found that to be better than nothing, while still not as good as ice cream. An interesting thing I noticed was since I usually ate chocolate ice cream, containing caffeine, I was not sleeping as well as I could have been. But without chocolate before bed I was able to get to sleep faster.

**By The End**
In the end, I was able to go a whole week without ice cream or any other dessert. I got used to it by the end, and it was ultimately better for me and a more healthy choice not to have it. It was a good lesson for me to not only pursue a healthier lifestyle but also show will power to not have something I want.

The Quote
What does Siddhartha's "Awakening" look like? Is this the same thing as reaching Enlightenment? In the text, Siddhartha becomes awakened to the world around him after leaving the Samanas and Gotama (the Buddha). He sees "the world for the first time. The world was beautiful strange and mysterious. Here was blue, here was yellow, here was green, sky and river, woods and mountains, all beautiful, all mysterious and enchanting, and in the midst of it, he, Siddhartha, the awakened one, on the way to himself. All this, all this yellow and blue, river and wood, passed for the first time across Siddhartha's eyes. It was no longer the magic of Mara, it was no more the veil of Maya, it was no longer meaningless and the chance diversities of the appearances of the world, despised by deep-thinking Brahmins, who scorned diversity, who sought unity. River was river, and if the One and Divine in Siddhartha secretly lived in blue and river, it was just the divine art and intention that there should be yellow and blue, there sky and wood -- and here Siddhartha. Meaning and reality were not hidden somewhere behind things, they were in them, in all of them" (39).

==**Analysis:** **The world was beutiful, the world was strange and puzzling. Here was blue, here was yellow, here was green...in the mids of it all, he, Siddhartha, awakening, on the path to himself.** I drew this scene to show the river, the "blue" of the sky, the mountains, the "Green" of the trees and ground. I tried to incorporate what Siddhartha saw, with the colours and the natural scenery. I think Hesse chose this setting to resemble the rebirth of Siddhartha and nature guiding him towards enlightenment.==

**Kamala**
Name: Kamala Location: I live in the grove of Kamala Eyes: My eyes are brown Hair: My hair is long and black About me(looks): I have very red lips, and my mouth is that of a freshly cut fig. I have beautiful long flowing black hair, and my favourite dress is gold. My beauty is portrayed well in my face; I have artful eyebrows, and bright eyes. Hobbies/profession: I am a writer of poetry, and a courtier. I like to show others how to love, such as Siddhartha. I particularly like to kiss. "I lose nothing if I give you a kiss for them.(32)"

**My daily schedule**
1. wake up 2. drive to school 3. go to class 4. eat lunch 5. more classes 6. ride the bus home 7. go to soccer/tennis practice 8. do homework 9. eat dinner 10. watch tv 11. go to sleep

Comic
My life is average for someone my age. I wake up early to give me more time to prepare for school. After I prepare, my dad drives me to school. I arrive around 8:15 to finish homework. I start classes at 9:00 and end at 3:45. After classes are over I ride the bus home, and have an after school snack and go 2-3 days a week to soccer or tennis practice. I have soccer, including games on the weekdays in the spring and tennis in the fall. The I go home and eat dinner, do my homework and if theirs time, I watch tv before I do my get ready for bed. That routine is changeable and varies greatly depending on the day, time of year, etc. I sometimes feel like Siddhartha because time seems to "Speed" by as Siddhartha's years seem to speed by (40). Things seem to go by much faster than when I was a little kid. For example, it still seems like I am in 9th grade and every year seems to go by faster than the last. This is also similar to Siddhartha in Samsara when "He barely felt [the years] passing"(40). I think I am becoming more like Siddhartha in this chapter, and I am starting to relate to him more than when I was younger.

media type="custom" key="24583076"

"Big river" by Johnny Cash, performed by Grateful Dead

"I'm a gonna sit right here until I die, She loves you big river more than me."
 * Lyrics**

"He saw a void reflected in the water, corresponding to the terrible void in his soul. Yes, he had reached the end. The was nothing left for him..."
 * Quote**

I like Johnny Cash, and this song is about a woman he met and how she breaks up with him by the river. it relates somewhat to Siddhartha’s feelings by the river about the ending. It is deeper in Siddhartha's case because he feels a void in his soul, whereas Johnny Cash seems to feel a void in his heart. The river seems so symbolize the ending of things and the river takes away meaning and purpose to things also for both of them. The "void" felt by Siddhartha is similar when he was by the river, as if something was also taken away from him.
 * Analysis**

media type="custom" key="24583462"

"Down by the river" Neil Young

Be on my side, I'll be on your side, baby There is no reason for you to hide It's so hard for me staying here all alone When you could be taking me for a ride.

Yeah, she could drag me over the rainbow, send me away Down by the river I shot my baby Down by the river, Dead, oh, shot her dead.

You take my hand, I'll take your hand Together we may get away This much madness is too much sorrow It's impossible to make it today.

Yeah, she could drag me over the rainbow, send me away Down by the river I shot my baby Down by the river, Dead, oh, shot her dead.

Be on my side, I'll be on your side, baby There is no reason for you to hide It's so hard for me staying here all alone When you could be taking me for a ride.

Yeah, she could drag me over the rainbow, send me away Down by the river I shot my baby Down by the river, Dead, oh, shot her dead.

Quote: "Dead was the bird in his heart.(46)"


 * Analysis**

This song by Neil Young is about him shooting his lover down by the river, because she emotionally stresses him. This is similar to Siddhartha in that Siddhartha also experiences stress to the point of death, first in his heart, soul, and almost commits suicide. He feels "Full of distaste(46)." The river in both cases is the centre of death, and once again the ending of life. media type="custom" key="24583626" "Ride the River" Eric Clapton Floatin' down that old river, boy All my worries far behind Floatin' down that old river, boy Leave old memories way behind Yesterday is slowly fadin' All my life I've been waitin' For this time Floatin' down that old river, boy Leaves me feelin' good inside Floatin' down that old river, boy Tryin' to get to the other side Yesterday is slowly fadin' I've been waitin' now forever For this ride Ride the river in this boat, ride the river Ride the river in this boat, ride the river Ride the river in this boat, ride the river Ride the river in this boat, ride the river Floatin' down that old river, boy All my worries far behind Floatin' down that old river, boy Leave old memories way behind Yesterday is slowly fadin' I've been waitin' now forever For this ride Ride the river in this boat, ride the river Ride the river in this boat, ride the river Ride the river in this boat, ride the river Ride the river in this boat, ride the river Ride the river in this boat, ride the river Ride the river in this boat, ride the river Ride the river in this boat, ride the river Ride the river in this boat, ride the river

"All this yellow and blue, river and forest, passes though his eyes for the first time(22)."
 * Quote:**

Analysis: This song by Eric Clapton, who is one of my favourite rock musicians, is describing a new phase of his life by leaving behind old memories, by floating down the river. As he is floating down the river his is seemingly looking to start a new phase of his life. This is also present in Siddhartha when he sees the River in nature and it looks to resemble rebirth, or perhaps a new journey or cycle of his life. Hesse gives a clue when she says that all the colours and sights of nature pass through the eyes of Siddhartha "For the first time."