KatSSB

= Katharina's Self-Realization Digital Scrapbook =

This is the place where I will write about the journey I follow to self-realization. My goal is to gain wisdom and takes steps towards enlightening myself. I will be following the journey of Siddhartha, the title character of Herman Hesse's // Siddhartha //, as a model for my own journey. The steps I have taken follow. = With The Samanas = = The Assignment = To get a feel for how the Samanas, Indian ascetics that are found in the novel // Siddhartha //, try to reach enlightenment, we gave up something we enjoy for a week. I chose to give up coffee, because it's technically not something I ** need **. Technically.

Beginning of the Week:
==="What could I say to you that would be of value, except that perhaps you seek too much, that as a result of your seeking you cannot find." ===

At the beginning of the week I was very enthusiastic about the assignment and excited to clean my room and bathroom every day. Within the first two days the carpet was free of the heaps of clothing that usually smothered the floor and the random graded assignments that I had deemed unimportant and carelessly pushed from my desk onto the floor. My bed was made and the covers neatly tucked in around the neat corners of the mattress. The bathroom was cleaner as well. No dried toothpaste was smeared in the sink and the countless jars of body butter and lotion as well as bottles of hair products had all been neatly aligned on either the window sill, in the shower, or inside the cabinet.

Mid-Week:
=="When someone seeks," said Siddhartha, "then it easily happens that his eyes see only the thing that he seeks, and he is able to find nothing, to take in nothing because he always thinks only about the thing he is seeking, because he has one goal, because he is obsessed with his goal. Seeking means: having a goal. But finding means: being free, being open, having no goal." ==

By this time I had already run out of the easier cleaning tasks and the general putting away of "homeless" items. Surfaces were clean and I didn't have to worry about tripping on something in the 15 minutes after I had gotten out of bed, but wasn't quite awake yet phase. This is where the cleaning became more organizing and when I attempted the almost unachievable feat of organizing my closet... (Cue the dramatic music.) Being a teenage girl makes finding the "right" thing for school that day a somewhat hazardous and organized task. While the clothing that I had cleaned up in the past few days might have been organized and put away neatly, the piles of partially unfolded shirts and dresses falling of the hangers that had been abuses by my indecisive mind that couldn't come to a conclusion about what I would clothe myself in that day, needed some help. I located many singles socks and articles of clothing that I had forgotten I owned and had maybe even outgrown in the past few years. I sorted the clothing into piles before refolding it and placing in the right location of my closet. This section of the cleaning definitely took the most effort, but has made getting dressed in the morning a lot easier, and my closet a lot more visually pleasing.

The Grand Finale! “I can think. I can wait. I can fast.”

The last two days, I was racing at regatta so I stayed in a hotel, which actually made cleaning a lot simpler considering that someone comes and vacuums, switches the towels and makes your bed. Although you would think that the room got messy much faster because it was a lot smaller than my bedroom at home, I had travelled with a lot less belonging proportionately so cleaning was a lot more manageable and really just consisted of five to ten minutes of organization per day. The thing that was the hardest to manage was clothing, because I was always tempted to throw is on the floor and say "I'll deal with that later." but somehow I managed to refold the clothes and shove them back into the duffel bag. All in all, I'm glad I pushed myself through the seven days of cleaning because it wasn't that horrible and I got a clean room out of the deal. It was comforting to come home from the hotel room and see that my room was clean and to collapse into an already made bed.

= Awakening =

The Quote
What does Siddhartha's "Awakening" look like? Is this the same thing as reaching Enlightenment? In the text, Siddhartha becomes awakened to the world around him after leaving the Samanas and Gotama (the Buddha). He sees "the world for the first time. The world was beautiful strange and mysterious. Here was blue, here was yellow, here was green, sky and river, woods and mountains, all beautiful, all mysterious and enchanting, and in the midst of it, he, Siddhartha, the awakened one, on the way to himself. All this, all this yellow and blue, river and wood, passed for the first time across Siddhartha's eyes. It was no longer the magic of Mara, it was no more the veil of Maya, it was no longer meaningless and the chance diversities of the appearances of the world, despised by deep-thinking Brahmins, who scorned diversity, who sought unity. River was river, and if the One and Divine in Siddhartha secretly lived in blue and river, it was just the divine art and intention that there should be yellow and blue, there sky and wood -- and here Siddhartha. Meaning and reality were not hidden somewhere behind things, they were in them, in all of them" (39).

= Analysis = I imagine Siddhartha's enlightenment as very bright and colorful. He has finally been awakened! Green, blue, and yellow are important colors so those were important colors and the rivers was the center of the drawing because rivers are made up of water, the most important thing of life. The setting of this moment in the story is very important because it gives the reader a mental image of that specific moment, of Siddhartha outside, having the most important moment of his entire life. This setting has a lot of archetypes as well. The color yellow represents wisdom and enlightenment. Blue represents positivity, tranquility, and clearness of the mind. Green represents growth, nature, and fertility. The river means rebirth and purity. This scene is not only a physical setting for the moment of Siddhartha's enlightenment, but also a figurative setting as well.

=Kamala=

Location:
I live in a beautiful house with a grove that is enclosed with a hedge.

Eyes:
My eyes are "dark, clever, and alert" (pg. 28)

Hair:
I have "high piled black hair" (pg. 28)

About me(looks):
I am very beautiful. My friends often describe as "beneath high-piled black hair a very fair, very soft, very clever face, bright red lips like a newly opened fig, eyebrows well tended and painted in the form of high arches, dark eyes clever and alert, a long, fair neck" (Pg. 28). People are often mesmerized my beauty and people come to visit me from all over.

Hobbies/Profession:
I enjoy teaching people things, and mentoring people that are inferior to me, but I will only help those who are worth my time. I really enjoy listening to good poetry. One of my students said "Siddhartha felt like she was teaching him, that she was wise, that she dominated him, repulsed him, and lured him on. I enjoy life and want to have fun so I always surround myself with people who are happy and things that I love.

Looking For (speech, effect on others):
I like it when my men "have clothes, handsome clothes,and shoes, good looking shoes, and a lot of money in his purse, and gifts for Kamala" (Pg. 30) I want a man with a good job, so that he can always by me gifts. He should be very passionate and have a strong personality. I want a man who is successful and respected by his community. He shoud very much enjoy life and try to live it to the fullest.

A day in the life of Kat

 * 1) Wake up
 * 2) Go to school early to finish homework
 * 3) Classes and lunch
 * 4) Practice
 * 5) Dinner
 * 6) Homework
 * 7) Sleep