ChristopherTSB

=Chris' Self-Realization Digital Scrapbook= This is the place where I will write about the journey I follow to self-realization. My goal is to gain wisdom and takes steps towards enlightening myself. I will be following the journey of Siddhartha, the title character of Herman Hesse's //Siddhartha//, as a model for my own journey. The steps I have taken follow.

=With The Samanas=

The Assignment
To get a feeling for how the Samanas, Indian ascetics that are found in the novel //Siddhartha//, try to reach enlightenment, we gave up something we enjoy for a week. I chose to give up listening to music.

**Early in the week**
As I the week begun, I had an easy time restraining myself from music. Music is something I enjoy, but I don't feel like I need to listen to it, so it was not a big transition to give up listening to music. However, sometimes I get a song stuck in my head during the day, and the only way I can get it out of my head is to listen to it a lot of times until I temporarily get sick of it. This happened a couple of times during the beginning of the week, but I was able to fight the urge off without too much problem. It was a weird transition from my normal musical routine to this deprivation, similar to Siddhartha's awkward transition, "All he still wore was a loincloth and an tailored, earth-colored wrap." (Hesse 7).

Mid Week
As the week went into full swing, I found it easier and easier to not give in to listening to music. I began to get in the routine of not even thinking about music after school, when I would normally listen to it. I just cut it out of my routine. At the beginning of the week, I thought I would have a hard time making it through the week without giving in, but at this point, I began to have almost full confidence that I would easily make it through the week, as it wasn't even hard to make it through the days in the middle of the week.I was feeling like Siddhartha was, where he was "learning every exercise quickly" ( 9). Siddhartha may not have liked being a samana, but he was able to do it pretty easily, like me.

The End of the Week[[image:http://s0.thejournal.ie/media/2013/05/musicheda.jpg width="155" height="124" align="right"]]
At the end of the week, things began to get a bit challenging. I think the deprivation was finally getting to me, as I kept getting songs stuck in my head, and I really needed something to do on the bus after school, and my bus is REALLY boring. The last couple of days were miserable after school, but I was somehow able to distract myself from the music by focusing on other things.Once the week was over, I was very relieved and, honestly, the first thing I did the next day was turn on my ipod and listen to music right as I woke up. I don't think I would have lasted much longer than a week, so obviously I wouldn't be a very good samana. I now see why Siddhartha was so eager to give up being a samana. I don't see the point in depriving yourself to earthly pleasures, which was a feeling shared by Siddhartha, "What I have learned from the samanas up to this day, O Govinda, I could have learned and more simply." (9).

=**Awakening**=

The Quote
What does Siddhartha's "Awakening" look like? Is this the same thing as reaching Enlightenment? In the text, Siddhartha becomes awakened to the world around him after leaving the Samanas and Gotama (the Buddha). He sees "the world for the first time. The world was beautiful strange and mysterious. Here was blue, here was yellow, here was green, sky and river, woods and mountains, all beautiful, all mysterious and enchanting, and in the midst of it, he, Siddhartha, the awakened one, on the way to himself. All this, all this yellow and blue, river and wood, passed for the first time across Siddhartha's eyes. It was no longer the magic of Mara, it was no more the veil of Maya, it was no longer meaningless and the chance diversities of the appearances of the world, despised by deep-thinking Brahmins, who scorned diversity, who sought unity. River was river, and if the One and Divine in Siddhartha secretly lived in blue and river, it was just the divine art and intention that there should be yellow and blue, there sky and wood -- and here Siddhartha. Meaning and reality were not hidden somewhere behind things, they were in them, in all of them" (39).

Analysis
I chose to draw Siddhartha's description of his awakening like I did because he described forests, mountains and rivers with lots of beautiful colors. I chose to make the river the barrier that has been holding him back his entire life, and once he crosses the river via the bridge, he reaches the awakened world, symbolized by the forest and mountains described in the quote. I chose to draw the sun behind the beautiful nature because the sun represents enlightenment, and he still has a long way to go before he reaches it.

Hesse describes this scene the way he did because he is symbolizing feelings and emotions that Siddhartha held at the time. Hesse emphasizes the river because water is a symbol of rebirth and life, which Siddhartha was experiencing because he is starting a completely new life. Hesse also mentions the green of the fields and the forests because the color green represents growth, which Siddhartha is doing because he is moving on from his past. The color blue in the picture represents a calm feeling, which Siddhartha has because he is becoming awakened and he is understanding the world. The yellow color of the sun represents enlightenment, which Siddhartha is on the path of.

=**Name**: Kamala=

**Location**: The Grove of Kamala, and a house in the village. (29)


 * Eyes**: Dark (28)


 * Hair**: Black (28)

I am the most beautiful woman in the village. I have "high piled, black hair" (28), my eyebrows are "well tended and painted n the form of high arches" (28), and best of all, I have "bright red lips like a newly-opened fig" (28).
 * About Me (lo****oks):**

**Hobbies / Profession (actions):**
I am a renowned courtesan. In my free time, I enjoy spending time in my grove, wooing the men who pass by, and "climbing a tree" (28).

**Looking For :**
In order for my to have any interest in a man, he needs to have "fine clothes" (30), "elegant shoes" (30), "perfumed hair" (20), and "money in their purses" (20).

=Samsara=

My Daily Life
1. Wake up. 2. Stand at the bus stop 3. Go to school 4. Come home from school 5. Watch TV and play video games 6. Do homework 7. Go to sleep



Analysis
My daily life is pretty uniform. Each day, I my alarm goes off at 7 A.M, but I always sleep past it and don't wake up till 7:30. I then get myself ready for school and wait at the bus stop to ride the bus every day. Once arriving at school, I go to my classes and do my work, and before I know it it's 3:45 and school is over for the day, meaning that I have to ride the bus and walk back home. Once at home, I relax by watching T.V and playing video games, and starting my homework at about 7. Then, once I finish, I go to sleep, ready to start the next day. It has been this way for a long time now, and like Siddhartha, "the years sped by" (40), doing this same routine.

=The River=

**Song:** "The River of Dreams" by Billy Joel
media type="custom" key="24583066"

In the middle of the night I go walking in my sleep Through the valley of fear To a river so deep And I've been searching for something Taken out of my soul Something I would never lose Something somebody stole
 * Lyrics:**

"In his heart he heard the voice speak, the newly awakened one, and it said to him 'Love this water! Remain by it! Learn from it!'" (54).
 * Quote from the text:**

In this song, Billy Joel is feeling lost (In the middle of the night I go walking in my sleep) and travels to a river in hopes that it will provide him with something (And I've been searching for something). This is like Siddhartha, because in the book, he returns to the river in a time of trouble when he is feeling lost, ad he is searching for the path to enlightenment.
 * Analysis:**

**Song:** "The River" by Imagine Dragons
media type="custom" key="24583740"

Reach, It's not as bad as it seems I cleanse in the river for somebody else, For anyone but myself
 * Lyrics:**

"'I shall stay by this river,' thought Siddhartha. 'It is the same one that I once crossed on my way to the child-people'" (54).
 * Quote from the text:**

In this song, the artist uses the river to build relationships with other people, because he is feeling lonely. he uses the river to make himself look better, so he might be able to impress others. This is like Siddhartha because he needed to cross he river to get to the city of the child-people and to reach Kamala to escape he lonely life of a samana, but it is different because Siddhartha didn't actually use the river to cleanse himself, it is just a symbol of cleanliness for Siddhartha.
 * Analysis:**

**Song:** "The River" by Good Charlotte
media type="custom" key="24666692"

Baptized in the river I've seen a vision of my life and I wanna be delivered In the city was a sinner I've done a lot of things wrong but I swear I'm a believer Like the prodigal son, I was out on my own Now I'm trying to find my way back home
 * Lyrics:**

"Let my present path, my present new life, take its start there" (54).
 * Quote from the text:**

In the song, the artist uses the river to start a new life and find what he was meant to do. He talks about being baptized, which is a symbol of rebirth. This is similar to Siddhartha because Siddhartha used the river to start his life over once he was finished with the child-people.
 * Analysis:**