MathesGSB

Mathes' Scrapbook This is the place where I will write about the journey I follow to self-realization. My goal is to gain wisdom and takes steps towards enlightening myself. I will be following the journey of Siddhartha, the title character of Herman Hesse's //Siddhartha//, as a model for my own journey. The steps I have taken follow.

With the Samans

[[image:candy mathes.jpg width="253" height="172" align="left"]]The Assignment
= = To get a feeling for how the Samanas, Indian ascetics that are found in the novel //Siddhartha//, try to reach enlightenment, we gave up something we enjoy for a week. I chose to give up candy, because it's technically not something I **need**. Technically

Beginning of the Week

 At the beginning of the week, I was feeling just a bit frustrated about not being able to eat candy. I am not a candy addict, but with candy just lying around the house, it was tough not to just grab one or two pieces. Just the fact, also, that I'm not supposed to eat candy made it harder, too. The candy was so accessible, and I couldn't just have one! When someone says "no" to something, the temptation becomes so much stronger. "It just does not seem so to me, my friend. What I have learned from the samanas up to this day, O Govinda, I could have learned more quickly and more simply."(Siddhartha 9).

Middle of the Week

The Middle of the week was better. I started to get used to the fact that I couldn't have candy. But, I started using substitutes that weren't really any better. Other snacks kept my attention off of candy. The only thing that got worse was the fact that I couldn't even have just one or two pieces of candy when it was sitting right there. Luckily for me, there were other things to keep me distracted such as school, football, and taking care of other priorities. "To the samanas in the forest as well, to Siddhartha as well, to Govinda as well, the legend had made its way, slowly, drop by drop, each drop laden with hope, each drop laden with doubt."(Hesse 12).

End of the Week I was about to crack and grab one or two pieces of candy, but I held it together. The fact that I was almost home free helped me stick it out. I knew that there was no point in ruining the whole week at this point. I pushed forward and didn't have another piece of candy until I was 100% sure that the week was over. The end tasted good. "On that same day Siddhartha informed the samana elder of his decision to leave him. He informed the elder of this with the courtesy and modesty befitting a younger man and a pupil."(Hesse 13).

Analysis- I decided to draw a landscape of a river heading into the mountains with a sunset. I drew Siddhartha sitting and absorbing his "awakening." I fantasized my drawing to emphasize how Siddhartha was feeling when he realized that there's a whole world out there, and he had limited himself to such a small part of it. I had the blue river, front and center, leading past the yellow flowers and the yellow meadows to the grand mountains with the pink sunset. "Siddhartha opened his eyes and looked around him; a smile spread over his face, and a profound sensation of awakening from lengthy dreams flowed through him down to his toes. And at once he was on his way again, walking swiftly, like a man who knows what he must do"(Hesse 21). These are the colors that Siddhartha saw, and they really enhance the significance of his awakening. This lets the reader know of the insane experience that Siddhartha endured. The river leading to the giant mountains really add to the affect. THIS particular spot helps Siddhartha realize that there's a whole world out there that he has not seen due to his Samanan life. The color green represents earth, nature, calmness, and fertility. Blue represents water, air/ sky, opportunity, calm and refreshing. Yellow represents ideas, ENLIGHTENMENT *, wisdom, and light.

Kamala Name- My name is Kamala

Location- I live in a large town in India. I live in a rather luxurious house with servants and jewelry.

Eyes- My eyes are dark and sharp with awareness (pg 28)

Hair- My hair is dark, black to be more specific. (pg 28)

ABOUT ME (LOOKS): My face suggests a very shrew person, and my red lips and gold bracelets help enhance my beauty and help bring in business. I know how to live and do business, as I have a luxurious house and am sought by many young men in society. "She drew him over to her with her eyes, he lowered his face to hers, and placed his lips on those lips that were like a newly opened fig."(Hesse 32).

HOBBIES/PROFESSION: I do the similar work of a prostitute, but I am not one. I am a successful courtesan, a giver of love for the wealthy and high-standing. I spend my time giving love to those worthy enough of my love and time."...he learned that it was the grove of Kamala, the renowned courtesan, and that, in addition to the grove, she owned a house in town."(Hesse 29).

LOOKING FOR (speech, effect on others): My job is to teach young men the values of love and success; how to be high class and looked up to. I am very careful with whom I choose, as the man must have nice shoes and clothes, perfumed hair, and a big sum of money! I long for a well educated man as well, one who can use the pen and read."Many young men visit me, and there are Brahman's sons among them, too, but they come in fine clothes, they come in elegant shoes, they have perfumed hair and money in their purses. That, samana, is what the young men are like who visit me."(Kamala 30).

Samsara

MY DAILY LIFE note:the comic is turned sideways. the "right" row is the top. Also, the drawings are

atrocious. Please prepare your eyes for visual conflict.

1. WAKE UP 2. SLEEP IN THE SHOWER 3. EAT BREAKFAST note #2: "Yummies, really?" Sorry, folks, just bear with me here. 4.GO TO SCHOOL 5.GO TO FOOTBALL PRACTICE 6. GO HOME 7. EAT DINNER 8. PLAY DRUMS 9. GO TO BED

comic

// After you have your routines and your comic strips, explain your comic strip here. Compare your life and routines to those of Siddhartha. Do you think your routines have a positive or negative effect on your life? //

I have a pretty consistent routine. The first thing I do is drag out of bed at about 7 a.m. Sometimes, my bed head is kind of interesting. I go straight into the shower, where I find myself half asleep, which is not the safest thing to realize in the shower. After a leisurely 45 minutes, I get my awesome shorts, shirt, bow tie, overalls, knee socks, shoes, circle glasses and pens on and go to school for exactly 6.8333 hours,(the 3 repeats). From 4 to 6:30 pm, I go to football practice, most of which I spend either on my back, on my face, or crawling on the ground in fetal position. After practice, when I've finished crying, I go home. I then eat dinner with my family, and I'm usually the last one to finish eating because I "jack my jaw" too much. I head downstairs and play the drum set down there, and normally one of our cats goes scampering upstairs in about 0.49 seconds. I guess I'm too entertaining for the poor thing. Then, I wipe out and crash on my bed for the night.

media type="custom" key="24523148" Lyrics to "Where the River Goes" by Stone Temple Pilots

Yeah, I could hide in the calm of the eye of the storm And never blow away Well, I'm a young man with a knife to my back Some things never seem to change

Nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide Sing the song or keep it inside Bought the farm, but the farmer done died Sing that song, sing that song inside

I wish I could live in the dream that I fly on the tarred & feathered wings Well, I'm losing a game of reality dice where the dealer never ever pays

Nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide Sing the song or keep it inside Bought the farm, but the farmer done died Sing that song, sing that song inside

I wanna be as big as a mountain I wanna fly as high as the sun I wanna know what the rent's like in heaven I wanna know where the river goes

Yeah, I could hide in the calm of the eye of the storm And never blow away Well, I'm a young man with a knife to my back Some things never seen to change

Nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide Sing the song or keep it inside Bought the farm, but the farmer done died Sing that song, sing that song inside

I wanna be as big as a mountain I wanna fly as high as the sun I wanna know what the rent's like in heaven I wanna know where the river goes

If I was stronger I could be a mountain range If night was longer Could I escape the day? If I was stronger I could be a mountain range If night was longer Could I escape the day?

Nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide Sing the song or keep it inside Bought the farm, but the farmer done died Sing that song, sing that song inside

I wanna be as big as a mountain I wanna fly as high as the sun I wanna know what the rent's like in heaven I wanna know where the river... I wanna be as big as a mountain I wanna fly as high as the sun I wanna know what the rent's like in heaven I wanna know where the river goes Where the river goes Where the river goes Where the river, yeah Where the river Where the river Where the river Where the river Where the river goes Where the river goes Where the river goes Where the river goes

media type="custom" key="24678508" "Ballad of Easy Rider" by the Byrds

Written by Roger McGuinn

The river flows It flows to the sea Wherever that river goes That's where I want to be Flow river flow Let your waters wash down Take me from this road To some other town

All he wanted Was to be free And that's the way It turned out to be Flow river flow Let your waters wash down Take me from this road To some other town

Flow river flow Past the shaded tree Go river, go Go to the sea Flow to the sea

The river flows It flows to the sea Wherever that river goes That's where I want to be Flow river flow Let your waters wash down Take me from this road To some other town media type="custom" key="24678772"
 * "Black Muddy River"**

When the last rose of summer pricks my finger And the hot sun chills me to the bone When I can't hear the song for the singer And I can't tell my pillow from a stone

I will walk alone by the black muddy river And sing me a song of my own I will walk alone by the black muddy river And sing me a song of my own

When the last bolt of sunshine hits the mountain And the stars start to splatter in the sky When the moon splits the southwest horizon With the scream of an eagle on the fly

I will walk alone by the black muddy river And listen to the ripples as they moan I will walk alone by the black muddy river And sing me a song of my own

Black muddy river Roll on forever I don't care how deep or wide If you got another side Roll muddy river Roll muddy river Black muddy river roll

When it seems like the night will last forever And there's nothing left to do but count the years When the strings of my heart start to sever And stones fall from my eyes instead of tears

I will walk alone by the black muddy river And dream me a dream of my own I will walk alone by the black muddy river And sing me a song of my own And sing me a song of my own