KimScrabook7

=**Kimberly Pitt's Self-Realization Scrapbook**= =**With the Samanas**= =**The assignment**=
 * To get a feeling for how the Samanas, Indian ascetics that are found in the novel //Siddhartha//, try to reach enlightenment, we gave up something we enjoy for a week. I chose to give up chocolate because it is something I really enjoy, but don't need. It was very difficult not to eat chocolate for a whole week.**

The begining
At the begining of the week, I felt pretty confident that I would be able to resist eating chocolate for this short amount of time. But after a couple of days, I had already started seeing a change in my behaivor and taste in food. The lack of chocolate in my diet caused me to lose my appetite. I was in a bad mood, which nearly never happens. Chocolate was one thing that made me enjoy life... to me, "the world tasted bitter. Life was pain" (Hesse 14). This made me want to just go through the motions and not enjoy anything. This was harder than I thought.

**The middle**
I couldnt do it anymore....my body desperately needed chocolate. After debating what was more important, having will power or feeling the silky taste of chocolate on my tounge, I decided I couldnt wait any longer. I gave up. Unlike siddhartha, I didnt feel that losing my self could come by not eating something I enjoy so much. Siddartha said, “I will stand and wait." (11) He had enough power in his will to carry on his fast. After eating a small bar of chocolate, I felt a little better. Though, I still felt some sense of saddness because I gave up. I think after some time my body would adjust and not feel the urge to eat chocolate, but when I try to think about not eating chocolate for more than a week, my brain tells me not to even think about it.

The end[[image:driddle10h/imagesCADCD6YR.jpg align="left"]]
I was finally "officially" finished. It didn't make much of a difference to me, but I did eat the most chocolate I've ever eaten it one week. Giving in and eating chocolate made me think a lot about how Siddhartha changed his mind about what his path of enlightenment was. He said, “What could I say to you that would be of value, except that perhaps you seek too much, that as a result of your seeking you cannot find.” (32) This made sense to me because I feel that a lot of the time really good people are searching to become better and trying so hard to make themselves feel like they are becoming better by doing these really hard tasks, but really they just need to be a good person and follow down the path that is set for them. Overall, I agree with Siddhartha when he says that self-denial isn't the right path to englightenment.... or at least it wasn't for me.

The image:

 * Analysis:** While I was listening to the quote from Siddhartha, I pictured a perfect place with a path cutting through the darkness and into the light. In my picture, I incorporated the text, "Here was blue, here was yellow, here was green, sky and river, woods and mountains..." by drawing a river of blue, a yellow sun, green grass and mountains, a sky and a river. The door represents when he says, "It was no longer the magic of Mara, it was no more the veil of Maya..." It is a symbol of a new time and place, one where the past no longer matters and you can choose your own path. In the quote it states, "Meaning and reality were not hidden somewhere behind things, they were in them, in all of them" which is another reason why there is a door in my picture, once you crossed through, everything was clear to you and nothing was hidden by the masks of lies and deception...this is how I pictured what Siddartha described seeing.

Kamala

 * Name:** Kamala


 * Location:** The pleasure grove (52)


 * Eyes:** Brown


 * Hair:** Chocolate brown

My name is Kamala. I was born in a small village where I was also raised before moving to a larger town after my family became very wealthy. I have very little patience when it comes to dirt because after I moved I was so glad to be rid of the poverty I left behind. I am clever and beautiful, a model for many women. I deserve the best man to be with, I should be lavished in wealth. I am also young, and I have been told my lips are like freshly cut fig. A man once told me, "How you can kiss, Kamala!" (57) I like to pass time by reading and seeing to my clients.
 * About me:**

I am a "well-known courtesan." (54) I enjoy teaching men the pleasure of love, I also like to spend a lot of time in my pleasure grove reading and becoming more knowledgable than when I started off. Teaching is a passion of mine, along with making crafts like scarfs and peacock fans for myself. My handmade peacock scarf took a long time but was definately worth it in the end. Even though I have enough money to supply for my every need, I find pleasure in knowing I am not totally uncapable of doing anything for myself.
 * Hobbies/Profession: 52, 54, 55**

Im looking for a man who is perfect for me. He has to be wealthy, good looking and respected. I wont take anything less than the best, " "No, he is not yet good enough. He must have clothes, fine clothes, and shoes, fine shoes, and plenty of money in his purse and presents for Kamala." (54) The man must listen to me and let me teach him because I am superior to him in my knowlege. I also require a great amount of respect present from him towards me, I will not be belittled by any man.
 * Looking for?**

Samsara:
My daily life- 1) Wake up to the alarm on my iphone at 6:45 AM on mondays, wednesdays, and thursdays. 2) Sit up and close my eyes for a couple of minutes, my own form of meditation. 3) Go to the bathroom and brush my hair and teeth, plus use the bathroom. 4) Eat breakfest with either my nan or my mum, most of the time its my mum. 5) Drive to marching band practice, usually always in a hurry. 6) Go to class as usual (school day). 7) Marching band practice, im section leader so I get to yell at everyone. 8) Come home, do my homework, and go to sleep.

"His life was always directed by the art of thinking, waiting fasting. The people of the world, the ordinary people, were still alien to him, just as he was apart from them" (75).
 * Quote from Siddhartha:**

Each day I do basically the same thing. During the first few months of the school year, I have to wake up at 6:45 AM in order to prepare for band practice. My mum drives me to school, normally always in a rush. After band practice, I go to my classes like usual... red day/blue day schedual. School is one thing that keeps me from pursuing the "meaning of life." It takes up a lot of my day... and my life. When im finished with all of my classes, I have marching band practice, again...but only on tuesdays and thursdays. When im finally done with everything, including my three hours of homework every night, I curl up in my temperpedic bed and fall asleep almost immediately.
 * Analysis:**

media type="youtube" key="YP7UbIJkg_k" height="315" width="420" "Thru love I will find the meaning of you All my nat’ral dreams will come true It’s like a river that flows to the sea
 * Song:** "The river must flow" by Gino Vannelli
 * Lyrics:**

Thru love I will find a meaning in life But the rain must fall down tonight And like a river that flows to the sea"

"The river flowed on towards its goal" (135).
 * Quote:**

I chose this song because in the lyrics it says, "It's like a river that flows to the sea" which makes me think of how it said in Siddhartha "The river flowed on towards its goal." (Hesse 135). These quotes are both saying that the river follows a certain path leading to its goal. In Vannelli's song, the river is flowing to wards its goal, meaning the ocean. And in Siddhartha, the river is flowing towards its goal...we can assume that the goal of Sidhartha's river is the ocean because all water eventually flows back to the ocean (the largest body of water). Siddhartha also chose to follow a path to enlightenment, his own personal goal.
 * Anaylsis:**

media type="youtube" key="fH5w6dcC2dw" height="315" width="420" "Baptized in the river I've seen a vision of my life And I wanna be delivered"
 * Song:** "The river" by Good Charlotte
 * Lyrics:**

"I was afraid of myself. I was fleeing myself." (38)
 * Quote:**

When Siddhartha left Kamala and his homeplace, he left without giving any goodbyes. In //the river//, Good Charlotte wrote about being delivered, pertaining to an emoitional state of mind. This relates to when siddhartha says, "I was fleeing myself,"(38) because both quotes are giving the idea that someone else has control, something higher. Both writings are seen as the person needing something to happen, whether it is being "delivered" or "fleeing" (38) themselves.
 * Anaysis:**

media type="youtube" key="rHTnyGBPlpk" height="315" width="420" "Sometimes I think of you In circles in my mind But now the time has come For the sun to shine" "I possess nothing.. I am certainly without possessions, but of my own free will, so I am not in need." (64)
 * Song:** "Misty river" by Danny Kirwan
 * Lyrics:**
 * Quote:**

When I found this quote from the book, I knew this song would go perfectly along side it. When he says, "...but of my own free will, so I am not in need." (64) I relate it to the part in the song when it says, "But now the time has come for the sun to shine," because both quotes are saying that the self has gone, whatever need, want or emotion that is holding them back has left. In the song, the writer is saying that when this occurs the sun will shine... or things will get better. In the book, Siddhartha is losing his self in order to reach englightenment, his sun shine. =**OM**= __**Description:**__ Like Siddhartha, I will have many stages of life. So far, I have gone through three. The first stage was innocence. I was young and the world was only what people told me it was or I thought I saw. This was like the first part of Siddhartha's life where he was oblivious to the "real world", where old men and women died and it wasn't as simple and care-free as he thought. When I was little, I thought that people would live forever and there was no such thing as rape or murder. The world was peaceful and pure. Like Siddhartha, “Whether it is good or evil, whether life in itself is pain or pleasure, whether it is uncertain-that it may perhaps be this is not important-but the unity of the world, the coherence of all events, the embracing of the big and the small from the same stream, from the same law of cause, of becoming and dying.” (Hesse 47) This was the very first stage of my life, after this everything changed. The next change in my life was when I went into middle school, everything was different and so much knowledge was coming to my mind. Teachers, friends, and the random people I met on my journey through this stage led me to new things like a horse is led to water. Each person that walked with me through this stage taught me a new thing; as Govinda said in the book, "Have you not discovered certain knowledge yourself that has helped you to live? It would give me great pleasure if you would tell me something about this." (142) This stage was where I met my Govinda, or best friend. Victoria Donnelly, or Vicky, was the person who walked through every step of this with me. This was the second stage of my life, like Siddhartha, I learned many things that I needed to know to carry on in life. Like Siddhartha, I felt that I couldn't learn enough. The third and final stage of my life so far has been high school. High school has remade me and my way of thinking, everything I am now has come from the combination of all of these steps together. Like Siddhartha, this was where my life took its turn for the better; I made lifelong friends and reached a new level of maturity. As said in Siddhartha, “Youth ends when egotism does; maturity begins when one lives for others.” My life had a new meaning, to succeed in everything I do. I put a new effort to everything I do, as I plan to do from now on forward. Siddhartha also went through this stage when he reached his state of enlightenment. He had a new meaning to life and had gained knowledge that would help him throughout the rest of his life. His lifelong friend Govinda, his teachers the Buddha and the Ferryman, and his love Kamala were all a part of his journey. Siddhartha's stages of life are a lot like mine; innocence, prematurity, and maturity. Also, the amount of knowledge we have both been gaining through our journey is very much alike. I think that reading Herman Hesse's //Siddhartha// will also help me further in my journey. My biggest goal in life now it to reach my full potential, "Nirvana is not only a word, my friend; it is a thought." (146)
 * Analysis:**
 * For my OM, I decided to do the picture collage relating my stages of life to siddhartha's stages of life. (In the last paragraph, I could not find the page number of the first quote.)**