DoYeopKSB

=**Doyeop Kim's Self Deprivation Log-**= I will #|record my progress in self-deprivation of shooting #|basketballs, in order to reach a self-realization. Ultimately, it is very important for me to recognize my faults through this exercise, and improve myself mentally. My progress would be following the earlier models in Hermann Hesse's //Siddhartha.//

=**With the Semanas**=

**The Assignment**

 * -**In Ms.Riddle's #|Class, we attempted to get a feel for how the ascetic semanas in the stories felt, in their self-depriving beliefs. Therefore, we stopped doing something that we enjoy for a week long period. The enjoyment I chose to give up was basketball. [[image:download (26).jpg width="213" height="151" align="right"]]

**Beginning of the Self-Deprivation**
-Giving up basketball was very odd. Since #|6th grade, I have shot basketballs]] after #|school daily, at least for an hour. I felt very deprived of joy and my body was very tight. Since giving up the shooting of basketballs, I started missing the short sparks of excitement I got from each stroke into the net. Without hearing the daily splashes of nets, I felt very restrained mentally and physically. The trial had caused me to feel like Siddhartha in his early #|meditations, "Siddartha's soul returned, died, decayed, turned into dust, experienced the #|troubled course of the life cycle" (Hesse 15). The beginning of the trial was incredibly depriving.

**Mid-Week**
The deprivation from the shooting of basketballs rather effected me directly, in terms of [[#|[[#|[[#|[[#|[[#|[[#|[[#|school]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] work, and physical conditions. To stretch in the morning, I made fake, air shooting forms and realized how unfamiliar it felt, I was losing my form. Nonetheless, without the shooting of basketballs, I started my homework right after school. Despite the early #|start, I realized that I was much sleepy. It was due to my habit of using basketball to wake-up after school, that had caught up in my biological rhythms. It felt like I was losing my own identity, which I had known so well up to this point. Perhaps this is what Buddha had experienced, as he gave up the human's natural need for food, and "he then no longer feels his self, no longer feels the pain of life, he then experiences the temporary escape" (Hesse 17). Buddha had been starved to the point, in which he first experienced his soul and body separate. Ultimately, I think that by the mid-week, my body and mind has lost its identity/soul due to such a deprivation.

**By the End [[image:download (27).jpg width="163" height="107"]]**
On the sixth day of the trial, if not for my collective 8 hours of school and 4 hours of teaching at a voluntary Korean School, I would have walked outside and started shooting basketballs right away. Under the influence of happiness, awaiting the weekend, the deprivation was almost completely forgot about. But since my habit, was originally meant to relieve stress from school, and improve my basketball game, I, myself believed the #|project to be rather bothersome, and #|pointless. On the other hand, this deprivation led me to realize that not shooting basketballs after school, had given me more time to [[#|[[#|complete]]]]]] homework. I decided that a balance between the time for studying and shooting #|baskets would be an ideal way to spend my usual school days from then-on. It was comparable to when Buddha was acknowledged in trying to find the middle way between complete asceticism, and ways of the Buddha, just as when Siddhartha went on " my way-not to seek another and better doctrine, but to leave all doctrines to teachers" (Hesse 34). Siddhartha had realized that the path to salvation neither came from his original learning from ascetics or the teachings of the enlightened Buddha, so he would follow to #|create a balance between the ascetic learning and complete obedience to teachings. Therefore, I would decide to shoot for 30 minutes, instead of an hour.

=**The Awakening**=

The Quote:
In this chapter of the //Siddhartha//, Herman Hesse describes the process of awakening and how it arrived in the mind of Siddartha. Specifically, Herman Hesse describes the new world in the perspective of Siddhartha, after the completion from his learning from Buddha and the Ascetics. The new world in the eyes of Siddhartha, was " blue, here was yellow, here was green, sky and river...Siddhartha, awakened one, on the way to himself...all this, all this yellow and blue, river and wood, passed for the first time across Siddhartha's eyes" (Hesse 39).

The Analysis:
I chose to draw the picture through the eye pupils of Siddhartha, because the author expressed it "across Siddhartha's eyes"(Hesse 39). In addition, I chose to color the entire background green, and include a river with the trees surrounded by the sky, because the author expressed his view as, "here was green, sky, and river"(Hesse 39). The main ground color was brownish yellow, as Hesse described the awakening view with "yellow," and "wood." Hesse might have chosen this part of the book for a specific reason. I believe through the symbolic archetypes, we can understand that Hesse portrayed a new, significant journey of realization of Siddhartha. One main archetype is the symbol of "blue," which represents a calm atmosphere. In addition the color "yellow," exemplifies a enlightening, in which this case shines upon the holy Siddhartha. A final indication of why Hesse might have chosen this quote, is that the overall description of the Earth, represents a connection to the world, and Siddhartha is someone who is definitely looking to find an intelligence/acknowledgement of the world. In conclusion, the quote is a significant example of a initiation of a new journey for acknowledgement.

**Name:**
Kamala Pleasant Grove, the edge of the village. It is famous for being surrounded by trees and rivers. My eyes are " dark, observant, and clever"(Hesse 51).
 * Location: **
 * Eyes: **

My hair is " heaped up and black"(Hesse 51).
 * Hair: **

Numerous people such as Siddhartha, have fallen for my majestic looks. It is mainly because of the longing looks on my face. My facial appearance is well defined by the "moist lips gleaning...red mouth like a freshly cut fig...and a slender neck"(Hesse 50-51). These looks make me look like a young, and clever little girl. People that have seen my face fall into an inevitable pit of joy and pain. From my appearance, many could tell that I am a clever, and flamboyant girl who has the desire for the right man.
 * About Me: **

My profession is a courtesan. To simply put it, my career is to attract rich men, and service them for their desires. All the time, I deal with rich men who "come to me in fine clothes, in fine shoes; there is scent in their hair and money in their purses"(Hesse 54). I require money and presents from this job. In my free time, I like to practice the art of love. Through these hobbies/profession, you can tell that I am a women that is very desiarable for money, and associated with a lowly workplace.
 * Hobbies/Professions: **
 * Looking for: **

For any man that has placed their eyes upon me, I have relatively simple requirements that cannot be compromised whether you are a great poet or well-dignified individual. The man that I desire is those that "have clothes, fine clothes, and shoes, fine shoes, and plenty of money in his purse and presents for Kamala"(Hesse 54). You can see that I am a very needy women for simple materialistic wants, and I have cause other men like Siddhartha to lose their place in society and gather money to please me, and have me.

My Daily Life:
// Write down a list of things you do every day or every week. What are your routines? What does a day in your life look like? Be sure to include at least 6 things. //
 * 1) //Wake up at 6:00//
 * 2) Take a Shower
 * 3) Walk my dog
 * 4) Eat Breakfast
 * 5) Drive to School
 * 6) Get English Tutoring after School
 * 7) Shoot Basketballs afterwards
 * 8) Do Homework
 * 9) Watch some movies or play some xbox
 * 10) Sleep at 12:00 am or 1 am

Analysis:
// After you have your routines and your comic strips, explain your comic strip here. Compare your life and routines to those of Siddhartha. Do you think your routines have a positive or negative effect on your life? //

My daily routine is relatively busy for a sophomore in Charlottesville, Virginia. Usually I wake up around 6. Then, I take a long shower to wake myself up and prepare me for another painful day of school. But before I go to school, I have to walk and exercise my dog, Dodo. Afterwards, I eat a big breakfast that my mom prepares, usually involving a meat of some kind. Next, I use my learner's permit to drive to school with my mom. Arriving at school around 8:15, I complete all of my four classes, and also take part in a English tutoring session after school at 5 O'clock that costs me a fair amount of money. After I complete my daily school life, I shoot some baskets for an hour or so to relieve the stress that comes with school work. Then, around 6:30, I start on the easy homework, and finish around 11:30. Finally, I relax and watch some television as I prepare for bed, and I conclusively end my day around midnight to 1 am. This is a day without the homework of AP World History. Usually, my life is always related to a balance of reliving stress and excelling in school. Contradictory to the meaning of education, which is to enjoy the expedition of new learning without the stress of good grades, I get caught up too much in trying to succeed, and therefore usually end the day with a fair amount of stress and not being truly happy. At certain times, I feel like I m in the perspective of Siddhartha, because "like a veil, like a thin mist, a weariness settled on Siddhartha, slowly, everyday a little thicker, everyday a little darker, and every year a little heavier"(Hesse 78). I sense that my invaluable childhood/teenage years are being wasted upon materialistic greeds that cause me to grow heavier mentally, and become exhausted at life. Even the money that Siddhartha uses to gamble are similar to how I use basketball, and the money for the tutoring session to heal myself from the consequences of materialistic wants. In //Siddhartha//, Samsara is defined as the natural cycle of normal, suffering life, in which Siddhartha cannot be involved in constantly. It comes to his realization when Siddhartha lives his life of a wealthy businessman. To sum it all up, I am very much feeling a Samsara in my life, and lost upon college preparation, maturing, and the never-ending cycle of life that is focuses upon school.

=The River=

Song:
Jay Z:"Oceans" featuring Frank Ocean

Lyrics
"Because this water drown my family This water mixed my blood This water tells my story This water knows it all."

Quote from Text:
"They have pilgrimages; the river has been in their way and the ferryman was there to take them quickly across the river...they have heard its voice and listened to it, and the river has become holy to them, as it has to me (Hesse 106)."

Analysis
This #|song has been atop my playlist for a long time, even though Jay Z is known for his flashy beats, this song demonstrates a poetic reflection upon the river. As conveyed in the song, water "tells my story," conveys the profound meaning behind the symbolic archetype of water. It is appealing to think that the water's flow symbolizes the perpetual flow in life, and it contains some parts of me that even I don't know about as the water, "knows it all" (Carter). The book, also illustrates the topic of running water as, "holy, as it has to me" (Hesse 106). One thing they have in common is that the waters have ability to communicate with humans, as the ocean"tells my story"(Carter), and the ferryman "have heard its voice, and listened to it"(Hesse 106). Ultimately, the running water represents a common theme of reflection of life, and a divine archetype.

Song:
Simon and Garfunkel- Bridge over troubled water

Lyrics:
" I m on your side when times get tough When times get rough And friends just can't be found Like a bridge over troubled water When your down and out When you're on the street When evening falls so hard I will comfort you"(Simon and Garkfunkel).

Quote from Text:
" His sleep was soft and dreamless; he had not slept like that in a long time. When he had awakened after many hours, it seemed to him that ten years had passed. He heard the soft rippling of water"(Hesse 90).

Analysis:
An all-time classic hit, Simon and Garfunkel express the comforting archetype/theme of running water. The running water was expressed as a metaphor to a comforting companion to a troubled person, as the river is "on your side when times get tough"(Simon and Garfunkel). Similarly, the book of //Siddhartha,// also illustrates the archetype of the river as a place of leisure and comfort to his troubles. After Siddhartha had realized his lost morals within his wealth, he fell into a reviving sleep with the "soft rippling of water"(Hesse 90). The song, "Bridge over Troubled Water," relates to the relaxing theme of running water in the book of //Siddhartha.// In conclusion, the song and the book are similar in that they represent the running water as a comforting companion, and its both shown after a trouble. media type="custom" key="24563020" width="292" height="204"

**Song:** North and South of the River- U2

Lyrics:
"I wanna see, and I wanna hear to understand your fears But we're north and south of the river there was badness that had its way... But love wasn't lost, love will have its day North and South of the River North and South of the River"(U2).

Quote from Text:
"The boy had run away... We must make a raft, in order to cross the river.We'll make a raft to fetch the boat that the boy took away...But let him go, he is doing what you neglected to do, in taking care of yourself"(Hesse 124).

Analysis:
Written by U2, the song "North and South of the River" depict the symbolic archetype of rivers as a divide between two opposite concepts. It is expressed in the writing, as the longing to see and hear another person, but they cannot as they are divided, as if they are on the opposite sides of the river, and "north and south of the river"(U2). Just as the river was depicted as a median for separation in the song, Hermann Hesse also depicts the river as a barrier between Siddhartha, and a boy who stole the boat. The boy had been a special connection to Siddhartha, as he was Siddhartha's son to Kamala. But as the boy had painfully lived in the old man's town, boat was "took away"(Hesse 124) by the boy to escape his unhappy situation. Even though Siddhartha could " make a raft in order to cross a river"(Hesse 124) physically, the river provides a profound divide between the son and Siddhartha that Siddharth could not overcome. The song and the quote from the book are incredibly similar, in the fact that the river is written as a theme of unavoidable divide between two beings/concepts. Therefore, the song relates to the quote, in that the "north and south" are the opposite banks of the river in which keeps Siddhartha away from his son.