RahimZSB

This is the place where I will write about the journey I follow to self-realization. My goal is to gain wisdom and takes steps towards enlightening myself. I will be following the journey of Siddhartha, the title character of Herman Hesse's //Siddhartha//, as a model for my own journey. The steps I have taken follow.
 * Rahim Zaman's Scrapbook **

With the Samanas

[[image:Sid Cover.jpg width="203" height="331" align="left"]]The Assignment
To get a feeling for how the Samanas, Indian ascetics that are found in the novel //Siddhartha//, try to reach enlightenment, we gave up something we enjoy for a week. I chose to give up downloading games.

Start of Week At first, giving up downloading games was easy due to being too busy doing homework and studying. This made me worry less on Wednesday and Thursday. This demonstrates how easy it is to give up a valuable habit or object by keeping yourself busy doing something else. On Thursday and Friday, I was still busy, but slightly less, so I played "lesser quality" Facebook games to resist the temptation to download higher quality games. Both Siddhartha's and my goal for resisting temptation is comparable as "to become empty,/ to become empty of thirst, desire, dreams, pleasure, and sorrow - to let the Self die." (Hesse 14). My goal of not downloading games resisted temptation and pleasure in order to demonstrate that I can live without a major source of entertainment.

Middle of Week During the weekend on Saturday and Sunday, I was more tempted to download games due to not doing any homework or studying, especially Saturday. On Saturday, I played more Facebook games in order to resist the temptation, while on Sunday, it was easier to resist the temptation due to knowing that the deprivation would end on Monday. I also found games to download after the deprivation would end to give me more hope. The deprivation over the weekend made me think about when Siddhartha says "Let the old Samanas satisfy themselves with/ such arts." (35). This statement reminded me of how deprivation can lead to more temptation, such as leaving Downloading games lead to switching to Facebook Games and in time, I may have become more fascinated in Facebook games than in downloading games.

End of Deprivation On Monday I was extremely busy with history homework all day, consisting of outlining 23 pages typed of notes, to even have time to think about downloading games until the evening. in the evening I was so relieved that the deprivation would end on the following day and the next day, I downloaded three games. The end of my deprivation made me think about how " The hour was inevitable when he would/ again find himself, in sunshine or in moonlight, in shadow or in rain." (16). This marked a beginning of my temptations being satisfied again and wondering what the effects on my mind would be if I continued my deprivation, although I do not have enough willpower to continue it at the time. Awakening The drawing represents the scene as it is described "Here was blue, here was yellow, here was/ green, sky and river, woods and mountains, all beautiful/, all mysterious and enchanting."(Hesse 39). The blue Siddhartha sees is the river, the yellow the setting sun sky, and the green is trees and grass around him. Siddhartha also sees mountains in the distance, which are in the background of the image. The setting is a forest located outside of the Jetavana Grove, in which Gotama was located and where Siddhartha left from after listening to Gotama’s teachings. Siddhartha leaves to reflect on what path he would choose to walk, due to his companion Govinda leaving him and Siddhartha leaving the Samanas and not being a Brahmin anymore. For this reason, the setting was described by Hesse as being a calm location with the sunset and all the other colors of the surrounding area representing this calmness, thought, and reflective thoughts of Siddhartha. Also, the archetypes of the color yellow for wisdom and ideas, green for nature, and blue for calmness are used to further show the state of Siddhartha’s awakening mind as he ponders what beliefs he will follow in the peaceful, forest environment.

Kamala Name: Kamala Location: Kamala's Grove or nearby house in town.

Eyes: Dark color and arched eyes and eyebrows

Hair: Heaped, black hair

About Me: I am the most beautiful and luxurious woman in my village, having black hair, bright and clever looking face, red lips, and a body which is the perfect weight and shape, as well as pleasant perfume. For these reasons men are attracted to my body, as well as due to them seeing my luxurious clothing. Men see my “firm, smooth, long, and slender hands, with broad gold bangles on my wrists (Hesse 51). The men see my gold jewelry and my luxurious bright colored clothing and immediately are attracted to the wealth I possess represented by my clothes. They also know that I am wise through the way my face and eyes seem observant. Hobbies / Profession: I like to receive money and luxuries in exchange to pleasure wealthy men who are dressed showing their wealth. I like to spend my time listening to poetry about myself and to get extravagant clothing from males to show off to attract all of the males that meet me. I was complimented by a poor Samana named Siddhartha for my kisses, for which I replied to him, “Yes, indeed, that is why I am not lacking in clothes, shoes, bangles, and all sorts of pretty things.”(57). Anyone that meets me immediately knows that I am extremely interested in worldly goods rather than in spiritual teachings. Looking For:

I look for men who are luxurious in their appearances and the amounts of money they have in their possessions. Especially, they must have “clothes, fine clothes, and shoes, fine shoes, and plenty of money in his purses” (54) for my pleasure with them. I told Siddhartha to get wealthy before he returns to me in order to enjoy my pleasure. He agreed to do so, which shows how desperate men are to get close to me for my body. My values reflect my desire for outside looks and wealth in men, as well as my self interests which I get from most of the men I attract.

Samsara Routine: 1 - Wake up 2 - Check school websites and Facebook 3 - Eat pizza 4 - Go to school 5 - Take first two classes 6 - Eat lunch 7 - Take last two classes 8 - Go to McDonalds 9 – Go home 10 – Check grades 11- Do homework 12 – Play on computer or D.S. 13 – Read 14 – Eat cereal 15 – Go to sleep Comic:

Analysis:
My schedule is extremely rigid and controls m y life completely with everything I do being on schedule and at the exact time. For example my morning and evening routines are always the same, in the morning waking up, checking school websites, and eating pizza before leaving for school before 8:10 AM. In the evening, I always do homework and play on the computer before looking at Yahoo answers at exactly 9:30 PM. Similar to Siddhartha, my scheduled activities are “no longer a game and a toy; they had become a chain and a burden.” ( 79). My schedule completely binds my life and it would be extremely difficult to change or get away from the schedule. This is similar to the cycle of Samsara, which repeats the cycles of life constantly and is unable to stop, similar to what my schedule does. Overall my life is bound entirely by my schedule like Samsara affected Siddhartha’s rebirth as always seeking to find the source of himself but straying further away, as he does with the Samanas and then being wealthy with worldly goods and desires.

The River
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Lyrics:
Time hurries on Look and it's gone The changing of the autumn tide The hopes that live The dreams that die If I could have you by my side I'd give it all away

Oh running water Don't care what people say We live to love another day Oh running water Don't throw your love away We live to love another day

Time hurries on Turn around and it's gone If only we could hold that dream If only life was what it seemed I know my darling what you mean I've seen it slip away

Quote From Text:
"Was there any kind of filth with which he had not besmirched himself, any sin and folly which he had not committed, any stain upon his soul for which he alone had not been responsible? was it still possible to live?" (88).

Analysis:
"Running Water" by the Moody Blues revolves around a person who [saw it slip away], as Siddhartha did when “there any kind of filth with which he had not besmirched himself, any sin and folly which he had not committed” (88). Siddhartha at first was proud of his purity above the common people around him, but he eventually became like one of them when he stayed in the village and became wealthy. For Siddhartha, as in the song, “Time hurries on” and he does not realize his growing immersion into the wealthy life until he is completely consumed by it. Siddhartha then believes that he has failed his dream of reaching enlightenment, as many people do in life and have "dreams that die", and decides to fall in the river. media type="custom" key="24520066"

Lyrics:
You know a dream is like a river Ever changin' as it flows And a dreamer's just a vessel That must follow where it goes Trying to learn from what's behind you And never knowing what's in store Makes each day a constant battle Just to stay between the shores And I will sail my vessel 'Til the river runs dry Like a bird upon the wind These waters are my sky I'll never reach my destination If I never try So I will sail my vessel 'Til the river runs dry Too many times we stand aside And let the waters slip away 'Til what we put off 'til tomorrow It has now become today So don't you sit upon the shoreline And say you're satisfied Choose to chance the rapids And dare to dance that tide And I will sail my vessel

Quote From Text:
"Softly he said the word Om to himself, over which he had fallen asleep, and it seemed to him as if his whole sleep had been a long sleep pronouncing of Om, thinking of Om, an immersion and penetration into Om" (90).

Analysis:
"The River" by Scotty McCreery represents a person who is trying to control their own mind and desires. When the person tries to “”stay between the shores”, they are attempting to do everything in moderation, as Siddhartha decides to do when conquering himself. Siddhartha lives in a life of luxury in the village with Kamala until he gets tired of life, "let[s] the waters slip away," and wants to destroy himself, during which he hears the Om from the river and realizes that his whole sleep had been a long sleep pronouncing of Om, thinking of Om, an immersion and penetration into Om" (90). Siddhartha then learns to conquer his self and to not give up and try harder to achieve his goal as the person in the song does rather than "if [they] never try", and realizes his errors in life of becoming lavish and trying to destroy himself. media type="custom" key="24520086"

Lyrics:
In the latest midnight hour When the world has gone to sleep You gotta get up When doubts begin to rise And the world is at your feet You gotta get up

Reach, It's not as bad as it seems I cleanse in the river for somebody else, For anyone but myself

I'm not a selfless man I'm not a man of wealth If I had all the world, Probably give it to myself But the trees begin to walk And the ground begins to talk And myself

Reach, It's not as bad as it seems I cleanse in the river for somebody else, For anyone but myself

Quote From Text:
"Siddhartha had wanted to drown himself in this river; the old, tired, despairing Siddhartha was today drowned in it. The new Siddhartha felt a deep love for this flowing water and decided that he would not leave it again so quickly." (100).

Analysis:
As in "The River" by Imagine Dragons, Siddhartha “cleanse[s] in the river” in which he tries to destroy himself in after living a life of luxury and wishes to not be "a man of wealth" and " not [be] a selfless man". He gets spiritually attached to the river after he hears the Om from it, which saves him from destroying himself. He describes his attachment to the river as a “love for this flowing water and decided that he would not leave it again so quickly." (100). The river symbolizes purity, which Siddhartha gains after throwing away the life of luxury and continues to strive for his goal of finding enlightenment and defeating his own ego, as well as later in his life, joining the river to learn more about life from it.

=Works Cited= Hesse, Herman. //Siddhartha//. New York: Bantam, 1971.