EmmaScrabook7

=Emma Bashline's Self-Realization Scrapbook=


 * With the Samanas **
 * __The Assignment__ **
 * To get a feeling for how the Samanas, Indian ascetics that are found in the novel Siddhartha, try to reach enlightenment, we gave up something we enjoy for a week. I chose to give up texting someone first because I thought not starting a ** [[image:driddle10h/samanas.png width="231" height="359" align="left"]] **conversation with someone would be an easy thing to give up and I wouldn't have to give too much up**.


 * __The Beginning__ **
 * The first part of my week made giving up starting a text conversation seem easy. I still had a lot of texts from people because they didn't understand why I wasn't texting. But as soon as someone texted me I was fine because I could respond to them and have a conversation anyways. Although several times I felt like “life was pain” (Hesse 14) because I didn’t have my phone or a contact to what was going on around me. **


 * __The Middle__ **
 * The middle of my week started to get worse. Less and less people were texting me because they were used to me talking to them first or even that it was stupid that I had given it up for that sake of an english project. This sounds strange that I would be saying this but I started to feel withdrawl from my phone as if it was something that I needed to survive with. Even though it was pain through “voluntary suffering” (15) it was worse than I thought it would be. When Siddhartha is feeling hunger pangs in the story I can assume that even though to a much smaller level I went through something like that in my withdrawl. **


 * __The End__ **
 * After about four days without being able to text someone first I gave in. I could not stop myself from starting a conversation because I felt completely disconnected from my friends and even sometimes my parents if I needed something from them while I was at school. Even though I didn’t make it through I still don’t feel like I did a terrible thing by not being able to make it. Siddhartha asks if we are gaining “knowledge” (17) and though I feel like I have, I also know that my habit of texting has gotten worse than it was before I started my project. **


 * The Awakening **
 * __The Quote__ **
 * In the story, Siddhartha has his “awakening”; this is what I believe the awakening looks like and I do not believe that this is the same thing as reaching enlightenment. Siddhartha goes on past this to thinking he has not reached enlightenment, therefore I do not think it is the same. Although when he leaves the samanas and gotama, he sees “ the world for the first time. The world was beautiful strange and mysterious. Here was blue, here was yellow, here was green, sky and river, woods and mountains, all beautiful, all mysterious and enchanting, and in the midst of it, he, Siddhartha, the awakened one, on the way to himself. All this, all this yellow and blue, river and wood, passed for the first time across Siddhartha's eyes. It was no longer the magic of Mara, it was no more the veil of Maya, it was no longer meaningless and the chance diversities of the appearances of the world, despised by deep-thinking Brahmins, who scorned diversity, who sought unity. River was river, and if the One and Divine in Siddhartha secretly lived in blue and river, it was just the divine art and intention that there should be yellow and blue, there sky and wood -- and here Siddhartha. Meaning and reality were not hidden somewhere behind things, they were in them, in all of them" (39). **


 * __The Image__ **




 * __Analysis__ **
 * This image embodies the way that I thought Siddhartha’s “awakening” was. All of the colors mentioned in his description have a meaning I used the “yellow” for the sun and “blue” for the “river”. The path to the river is a way I symbolized his track to becoming the “awakened one” and the “mountains” in the distance after the path to show the way he sees them and takes everything in. **


 * __Kamala__ **
 * Name: Kamala **
 * Location: The Pleasure Grove **
 * Eyes: Dark Brown **

===** About me: ** I am a beautiful and confident woman.I am not afraid of men and I am not afraid of getting what I want. "Many young men come to me" (Hesse 54) and they desire to be with me. I am a great lover and can teach a man many things about physical love, if he follows what I ask of him. I live a luxurious life and I truly enjoy it. ===
 * Hair: Chocolate Brown with Caramel streaks **
 * Hobbies/Profession: I am a courtesan by proffesion but I enjoy listening to poetry **
 * Looking for: I am looking for a man with money, nice clothing, and good shoes **

=** My Daily Life **=
 * __Samsara__ **
 * 1. wake up **
 * 2. shower **
 * 3. go eat breakfast **
 * 4. go to school **
 * 5. go to classes **
 * 6. drive home **
 * 7. practice my cello **
 * 8. do homework **
 * 9. go to sleep **

[] =**__Analysis__**=
 * My life is pretty much the exact same thing every day and it is very routine. I also feel like I have to be doing something all the time and when I'm not I have to find something to do whether it be sports practice or hanging out with friends. In doing the same thing every day I sometimes get tired with my life and I feel like Siddhartha when "Like a veil, like a thin mist, weariness descended upon Siddhartha, slowly, every day a little denser, every month a little more opaque, every year a little heavier." (42) I feel like this because in doing the same things over and over again everything blurs together with no more sense of meaning left into what I am doing with my life and myself.**

=**__The River__**=

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**Song: "Cry me a River" Justin Timberlake**

 * Lyrics: "You told me you loved me,**
 * so why did you leave me all alone"**


 * Quote: "Siddhartha said goodbye with a kiss. "Let it be so my instructress. May you always like my eyes, may good fortune always come to me from you!""(34)**


 * Analysis: This song in a way reminds me of Siddhartha leaving Kamala because he pretty much just takes off and even though she knew he was probably going to leave I can still imagine she was very hurt considering she knows she is carrying his child but does not tell him. If this song were from the perspective of Kamala to Siddhartha these could be feelings she had towards him if he had come back for her and the "river" symbolizes the river he has traveled on through his enlightenment.**

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Song: "The River" Good Charlotte
Lyrics: Baptized in the river I've seen a vision of my life And I wanna be delivered In the city was a sinner I've done a lot of things wrong But I swear I'm a believer Like the prodigal son I was out on my own Now I'm trying to find my way back home Baptized in the river I'm delivered

Quote: "a very beautiful river; I love it above all other things. I have often listened to it, I have often looked into its eyes, and have always learned from it. You can learn a lot from a river." (27)

Analysis: I have always liked this song but I feel like it really relates to this part of Siddhartha. When Siddhartha is on the ferryboat talking to the ferry man Siddhartha finds some enlightenment in the river and the song talks about the singer being "baptized" by the river and now he is a "believer" and this reminds me of Siddartha's feelings towards the river.

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Song: "Bottom of the River" Delta Rae
Lyrics: Hold my hand, Ooh, baby, it's a long way down to the bottom of the river

Quote: "Siddhartha's father touched his shoulder. He said: "You will go to the forest and be a samana. If you find salvation in the forest, come back and teach me salvation. If you find disappointment, then come back and let us once more sacrifice to the gods together. Now go and kiss your mother; tell her where you are going. But, for me, it is time to go to the river and perform the first ablution."

Analysis: When I was looking for river songs for this project I found this song and even though I had never heard it before, parts of it remind me of Siddhartha's departure from his family. His father did not want him to go but Siddhartha stood in the exact same place until he got the permission he was looking for from his father. In this I see a connection to the song because the singer is basically asking for someone to stand beside her while she goes through a bad time and Siddhartha was willing to "die" rather than to go against his fathers will yet in the way he is "obeying" and seeming to "rather die than obey" his father shows he wants the permission while also showing indignation in his decision.