BenMSB

=Ben's Self-Realization Digital Scrapbook=

This is the place where I will write about the journey I follow to self-realization. My goal is to gain wisdom and takes steps towards enlightening myself. I will be following the journey of Siddhartha, the title character of Herman Hesse's Siddhartha, as a model for my own journey. The steps I have taken follow.

=With The Samanas=

=The Assignment=

To get a feeling for how the Samanas, Indian ascetics that are found in the novel //Siddhartha//, try to reach enlightenment, I gave up watching tv shows for a week. I chose to give up tv shows, because it's technically not something I **need**. Technically.

=Getting Started= I gave up watching tv shows for a week. The begining was the hardest part. Tv shows were so hard to give up because i am currently in the middle of at least two or three different shows. For me when I start a good show, book, or movie I am watching or reading for the story and when i do this i like to know what happens in said story so depriving myself of what will happen was quite a challenge, especially at first. I found myself thinking more and more about what would happen to the charcters in my absence. "I have no desire to walk on water"(24) I do not think his friend was serious when he said this to Siddhartha but Siddhartha's reply is the opposite of how I was feeling. He was close to a desirable thing yet he turned away from it. It is the opposite of me instead of turning away from tv shows I found myself thinking about them more than ever.

=Mid-Week= By the half-way point in the week I was feeling worse. The worst part was how bored I felt after I was done with school and homework I now had nothing to do. It was a wierd feeling I now had an extra few hours in the day that i would have normally spent catching up on my tv shows. However this may not be a bad thing I found myself putting a little more effort into things such as homework and studying." It does not appear to me, my friend. What I have so far learned from the Samanas, I could have learned more quickly and easily in every inn in a prostitutes quarter."(16) This quote shows Siddhartha's frustration and anger and the feeling that what he was doing was pointless. At this point in the week that is exactly how I was feeling.

=By The End= By the end of the week I was getting slightly frustrated by this whole ordeal because I now had friends who were talking to me about what I missed and how exiting it all was. I found myself slipping as I turned on the tv and eventually slipped completley on Saturday as I finally broke and began to catch up on what I had missed. I will admit that after this slip up I did not feel guilty simply just satisfied. I learned that my will power is no where near as strong as Siddhartha, I do however think the fact that I was stongly tempted is a good thing next time I just need to be able to beat that temptation."Are we gaining knowledge? Are we approaching salvation?"(17) This I think is a good quote because it shows that even after everything you may not feel fulfilled or like this is helping and that was how I felt at the end of my week.

=Awakening=

The Quote
What does Siddhartha's "Awakening" look like? Is this the same thing as reaching Enlightenment? In the text, Siddhartha becomes awakened to the world around him after leaving the Samanas and Gotama (the Buddha). He sees "the world for the first time. The world was beautiful strange and mysterious. Here was blue, here was yellow, here was green, sky and river, woods and mountains, all beautiful, all mysterious and enchanting, and in the midst of it, he, Siddhartha, the awakened one, on the way to himself. All this, all this yellow and blue, river and wood, passed for the first time across Siddhartha's eyes. It was no longer the magic of Mara, it was no more the veil of Maya, it was no longer meaningless and the chance diversities of the appearances of the world, despised by deep-thinking Brahmins, who scorned diversity, who sought unity. River was river, and if the One and Divine in Siddhartha secretly lived in blue and river, it was just the divine art and intention that there should be yellow and blue, there sky and wood -- and here Siddhartha. Meaning and reality were not hidden somewhere behind things, they were in them, in all of them" (39). =The Image= =Analysis= In the book "mountains" and "rivers" are mentioned. I simpily tried to best replicate the scene that is descibed. I believe this spot is chosen because it is beautiful and is a majestic spot. For such a thing as importent as Siddahthas awakening I believe it makes sence to have it in such a beautiful spot. To have his awakening in a dark damp place would be slightly oxymoranic.

=Kamala=

Name: Kamala Location: Eyes: Dark Hair: Black About Me: My mouth is bright red and has been compared to a freshly cut fig. Some tell me my face is clever, I like to think that is true. I enjoy conversation with intelligent people. I like talking of my work. = =

= = =Samsara= = = =My Daily Life= 1.Wake up 2.Shower 3.Get dressed 4.Brush teeth 5.Go to school 6.Learn 7.Come home from school 8.Do homework 9.Eat 10.Go to sleep =The Comic!= =Analysis=