KristianBSB

= Kristian's Scrapbook = This is the place where I will write about the journey I follow to self-realization. My goal is to gain wisdom and takes steps towards enlightening myself. I will be following the journey of Siddhartha, the title character of Herman Hesse's Siddhartha, as a model for my own journey. The steps I have taken follow.

= With The Samanas  = = The Assignment =

To get a feeling for how the Samanas, Indian ascetics that are found in the novel Siddhartha, try to reach enlightenment, we gave up something we enjoy for a week. I chose to give up YouTube, because it's technically not something I need, technically... = = = Getting Started = The first couple days of being without my beloved Youtube weren't nearly as bad as I imagined it to be. Instead of sitting on the couch and just watching what my subscriptions recently posted, I caught up on homework. I knew I could always watch the videos later and that I really wasn't missing out on too much. Plus it was really good that I was taking my time with my homework and doing it thoroughly, rather then my usual sub-par work. I felt fairly bored every now and again, but not extremely bored. After the first day I started to become tempted to return to watching YouTube. But I knew this was just the start of the journey that was, "to become empty, to become empty of thirst, desire, dreams, pleasure and sorrow" (Hesse 14) and I knew it would be hard, but in the long run, for the better.

== = Mid-Week =

By day four, every hour seemed to drag by. I was already ahead on homework and had nothing to occupy my time. I begin to try and just do little things around the house. Such as, cleaning up my room, helping my mom cook or clean, or even doing the dishes! I really was desperate. I tried to not dwell on what I was missing out on, because that would only make it worse. I knew I was half way there and I was beginning to relate to how Siddhartha felt. "The world tasted bitter. Life was pain" (14) I lost my excitement of coming home and when i finally got home, it was a bore. I definitely was regretting giving up YouTube right about now... Way too hard.

= I Can See The Light =  Well this absolutely sucks. My days have become a crawl. I feel so deprived of the outside world. YouTube was my one-stop location to figure out everything going on out in the Video Gaming universe, and now i'm cut off cold turkey. But I believe I am breaking my addiction. By the final day, I was used to not going straight to my computer or iPad to watch YouTube, and instead I help make dinner, read a book, or watch some TV. I felt just like Siddhartha when he finally rid his own self from the world, "Silently Siddhartha stood in the fierce sun's rays, filled with pain and thirst, and stood until he no longer felt pain and thirst" (14). I felt as if I had rid my self from myself, which is exactly the goal of Samanas. I felt quite successful and happy with breaking my unhealthy routine. I learned that if i really push and keep myself away from something long enough, I can brake my habit. Although I hated every second of it... I, of course, wouldn't want to do this in the long run, because i think after a month it would be too hard to keep away from YouTube and i would just miss it too much. All in all, it was a fun experience to test my self limits. = Awakening = = = = The Quote = After Siddhartha's visit to Gotama, The Buddha, and the Samanas, Siddhartha's world around him is changed. He truly now sees, "the world for the first time. The world was beautiful strange and mysterious. Here was blue, here was yellow, here was green, sky and river, woods and mountains, all beautiful, all mysterious and enchanting, and in the midst of it, he, Siddhartha, the awakened one, on the way to himself. All this, all this yellow and blue, river and wood, passed for the first time across Siddhartha's eyes. It was no longer the magic of Mara, it was no more the veil of Maya, it was no longer meaningless and the chance diversities of the appearances of the world, despised by deep-thinking Brahmins, who scorned diversity, who sought unity. River was river, and if the One and Divine in Siddhartha secretly lived in blue and river, it was just the divine art and intention that there should be yellow and blue, there sky and wood -- and here Siddhartha. Meaning and reality were not hidden somewhere behind things, they were in them, in all of them" (39). After reading about Siddhartha's awakening, I truly cannot understand what he must have been seeing and feeling. I imagine it something in the line of he is sort of out it and that he is tripping on some hallucinogenic drug. He must have been feeling very confused and even a sense of euphoria. Although he may have questioned this experience to be that of enlightenment, I don't think it was truly the full package of enlightenment, but rather just a taste.

= Analysis = I chose to draw my picture the why I did because Hesse describes what Siddhartha sees as he awakes as, " Here was blue, here was yellow, here was green, sky and river, woods and mountains." So I made sure to incorporate the mountains, blue skies and water, green grasses, and yellow sun. Then I made sure to include the "mysterious and enchanting" feel of his environment by trying to keep the scene as if it was untouched by man and it was new, and fresh. Which is exactly what t he green of the woods and mountains symbolizes: nature and growth, symbolizing Siddhartha's growth after encountering Gotama and the Samana's. Then the color blue of the water represents serenity, rebirth, and life. Siddhartha is going through a rebirth after he has changed his view on life. Then lastly, the color yellow symbolizes enlightenment and wisdom showing that Siddhartha is on the track to enlightenment and gaining wisdom. Hesse chose this setting because it could symbolize everything Siddhartha was feeling during his awakening.

= Kamala The Courtesan = Nickname: Kamala Bear
 * [[image:http://static5.depositphotos.com/1040130/482/i/950/depositphotos_4820354-Young-indian-women.jpg width="351" height="518" align="left"]]Name ** : Kamala


 * Location ** : I live in the grove of Kamala (52)


 * Eyes ** : My eyes are Dark (51).


 * Hair ** : My hair is Black (51).

**About Me (looks):**
I am the most beautiful woman in all of the village. I have a, "bright, very sweet, very clever face... artful eyebrows painted in a high arch" (51) and, "a bright red mouth like a freshly cut fig" (51) with which i will swoon you with.

**Hobbies / Profession (actions):**
I am "the well known courtesan" (52) and teach people how to love in exchange for nice clothing or jewlery or money. I am well off and very rich and respected amongst the city folk.

**Looking For (speech, effect on others) :**
I need the man to have "handsome clothes... good-looking shoes, and a lot of money in his purse, and gifts for me" (30). Only then will I even consider giving him any love at all and my sweet love cannot be take either, so you better come bearing gifts and have your finest linens on and smell of the finest perfumes.

= Samsara =

My Daily Life
// Write down a list of things you do every day or every week. What are your routines? What does a day in your life look like? Be sure to include at least 6 things. //

1. Force myself to open my eyes and wake up.

2. Wash my hair and body and spiffy up.

3. My brother drives me to school.

4.I suffer through my first two grueling classes.

5. I'm forced to eat the disgusting cafeteria food so i don't starve.

6. I finally get home after a long day at school and i sit down and relax and play video games or watch t.v.

7. I make myself a cup of coffee and start on my homework and hopefully finish it.

(from Pixton.com) = Analysis = I live a very scheduled life and that doesn't change unless its the weekend. I wake up at the same time everyday and shower and eat eggs every morning. My brother always drives me to school and I have the same first block. The school day drags on and then i take the bus home and play video games or watch YouTube. Then after I eat dinner i start on my homework and usually finish it all. Then i wake up the next morning and repeat it all over again. I feel that Siddhartha explains how people fall into a routine and what its like and he does this perfectly when he says, "like a thin mist, weariness descended on Siddhartha, slowly, every day a little denser, every month a little more opaque, every year a little heavier"(42). Life can begin to take hold of you and you can slowly fall into the same daily routine, just as Siddhartha feels and explains. Although I love life and my daily routine, it can become a bore and sometimes I feel like I'm caught in Samsara just as Siddhartha was.

= River Music =

= Black Water - Doobie Brothers = media type="custom" key="24583760"

Lyrics
Black water keeps rollin' on past just the same Old black water, keep on rollin' Mississippi moon, won't you keep on shinin' on me Old black water, keep on rollin' Mississippi moon, won't you keep on shinin' on me Old black water, keep on rollin' Mississippi moon, won't you keep on shinin' on me Yeah, keep on shinin' your light Gonna make everything, pretty mama Gonna make everything all right And I ain't got no worries 'Cause I ain't in no hurry at all Well, if it rains, I don't care Don't make no difference to me