OliviaGSB

= = =Olivia's Scrapbook =

This is the place where I will write about the journey I follow to self-realization. My goal is to gain wisdom and takes steps towards enlightening myself. I will be following the journey of Siddhartha, the title character of Herman Hesse's Siddhartha, as a model for my own journey. The steps I have taken follow.

=With The Samanas =

The Assignment
To get a feeling for how the Samanas, Indian ascetics that are found in the novel Siddhartha, try to reach enlightenment, we gave up something we enjoy for a week. I chose to give up sweet tea and sugar, because it's technically not something I need. Technically.

Getting Started The first day of giving of my beloved sweet tea was horrible. I had no energy from sugar and I also gave up the cooling taste of the soda-like drink in the cafeteria, and I dragged all day long. The trickle of tea was in my dreams and I needed sugar. Not dreams, I should specify, but nightmares. I have an addiction that I thought I could overcome, but it was impossible. I caved in the second day. Siddhartha did not give in, however, he kept at it.

Mid-Week I had the fruity, sugary drinks at lunch from the third day on. I only had tea once a day. however, which is cutting back. On Thursday I had quite a bit, though. At Bodo's Bagels, where I go every Thursday morning with friends, they have unsweetened tea, and I order the 24 oz and I put eight packets of sugar in it, two of each kind that they have. I'm not proud. It felt like I was being dragged down the stairs into the darkness of depressed, unhappy, tired people who don't like sugar. It was the most horrid thing and no one should have to go through this, even Siddhartha, who deprived himself of food, and his hunger pangs were my cravings for sugar, my body telling me to sleep and my brain screaming at me to stay awake. It was quite confusing. Two different messages sent from the same being sending mixed, complicated signals. Buddha did not give up. He kept trying and he succeeded by depriving himself.



By The End I had approximately seven glasses of sweet tea on Saturday, and about ten between Saturday and Sunday. I could not quench my thirst with anything else and my grandmother made a whole pitcher just for me, so I drank it. I drank it all. It was so very tempting. I couldn't take it any more. I gave in to the Devil inside of me. My body needs the sugar, no matter how much sleep I get. I cannot explain this feeling inside of me. My body was energized and healthy and my eyes just kept closing, like if they didn't they wouldn't get what they wanted. And they did get what they wanted, they got the sugar, the fulfilling taste of sugar again. My ADHD sure was satisfied to have fuel to be hyper and jittery again, and I continue to feed into this addiction. I can't help it. Siddhartha ended up reaching enlightenment and created is own religion by starving himself.

Analysis I chose to draw this because


 * Name ** : Kamala


 * Location ** : I live in.


 * Eyes ** : My eyes are dark, but I like to wear brightly colored contacts, like I am in the photograph. (51).


 * Hair ** : My hair is long, thick, and dark. (51).

**About Me (looks):**
What is Kamala like? What other details about her looks might she include in her profile? What makes her so appealing to Siddhartha? What __ character traits __ do we learn about her from her appearance? Include at least one PROPERLY INTEGRATED quote. I have artful eyebrows "bright, very sweet, very clever face," (51) with bright lips and dark eyes, although I am wearing contacts in the picture, and long, dark hair. I have fair skin, and like to wear a variety of delightful perfumes, all very expensive, for I am a woman of high tastes.

**Hobbies / Profession (actions):**
What does Kamala do for a living? How does she like to spend her time? What __ character traits __ do we learn about her from how she spends her time? Include at least one PROPERLY INTEGRATED quote. I am a good kisser, Siddhartha once said, "

**Looking For (speech, effect on others) :**
What does Kamala want in a man? Look at her requirements for Siddhartha - what does she tell him he needs? What __ character traits __ do we learn about her from what she says and how she effects Siddhartha? Include at least one PROPERLY INTEGRATED quote.