KalibRSB

Kalib's Self-Realization Digital Scrapbook This is the place where I will write about the journey I follow to self-realization. My goal is to gain wisdom and takes steps towards enlightening myself. I will be following the journey of Siddhartha, the title character of Herman Hesse's //Siddhartha//, as a model for my own journey. The steps I have taken follow.

=With The Samanas=

The Assignment
To get a feeling for how the Samanas, Indian ascetics that are found in the novel //Siddhartha//, try to reach enlightenment, we gave up something we enjoy for a week. I was forced to give up something i use always, walking. I was incappable of walking for an entire week. I lost that right when i injured my lower back and had surgery.This is important to me and most humans, because without the cappability to walk it would be unlikely to live.

=Beginning of the Week= The first day was the day before my surgery, on monday when it was clear i was going to have an operation. I ultimately hated it. I very much did not like not being able to walk. I was in bed for hours of the day, in a pull out couch, because going upstairs was out of the question. I missed being able to go from place tp place. Having to have my meals served on my lap was hummiliating, at times i did not eat. On top of everything, at every move I made sharp pain instantly all over. Almost as if i was restricted to not walk. "Life was pain" (Hesse 14) It was a painfull week. Also the fact that i was useless was depressing. = = =Mid-Week= by the middle of week it felt like a little bit of hope was coming back, I started getting better, moving more. Though still feeling a little useless. "life meant suffering, the world was full of sorrow" (Hesse 14). Almost as if hope was given and snatched back. I felt better but could not walk. but I would say that's life. I might guess this is a little bit of how Siddhartha might have felt when he couldn't eat. I would have to say that my case is different since i have no choice as appose to he. = = =By the END= I was able to go 5 1/2 days. As by then I was recovering quickly. days without walking seemed to go slower as I just stayed in the same place for hours at a time. By that Sunday I felt ready to go back on the football field. because most afternoons knowing that I couldn't practice that day was a bit discomforting. But I feel as this week went by I learned also a lesson from it. That life is short and the smallest thing could put you down for a long time. "he felt that in that grove his previous life, too, had remained behind him" (Hesse 20). I think it chained on how I look at my 'invisibility" = = == =media type="custom" key="24583288"=