MoranJ1213

Justin Moran

A Pigs Attempt At The Game Of Football

Once upon a time there was pig that wanted to play football. His name was Pig and he really loved the game of football. Whenever the farmer would watch football on Sundays, Pig would climb up the back deck and watch through the window. Pig’s favorite team was the Washington Redskins.

For years Pig had no idea how he could go play football as that was his life-long dream. Pig then decided that he would start practicing with his other friends on the farm. Pig knew that he would not be able to play quarterback because he was too short and because he had no arms with which to throw the ball. Pig realized that he wanted to try to play slot receiver because that was what all the short but quick receivers in the NFL played.

As Pig tried to practice with Horse who was trying to throw him the ball he realized that he would need to get someone or something that could actually throw the ball to him. So pig snuck in to the farmer’s house stole his credit card and jumped on the internet. Pig searched for two straight hours until he finally found the right machine. This machine only had to have the ball put in the slot and then it would get shot out to whoever was catching the ball. The machine cost $1500 and he knew that the farmer would be very angry, but he also knew that the farmer would never suspect that Pig would have bought it.

Pig waited week after week for the machine to get there and after six weeks it finally did. All day everyday pig began to work on catching the football with his mouth and had Horse help him by putting the balls in the machine. Pig practiced for six months and began to feel confident. One day Pig got into the farmer’s house and again got on the computer. He eventually found the email of the Redskins’s coach and began sending him emails asking for the chance to try out for the team. Pig emailed every day for a month straight and eventually the coach emailed back saying that he could try out.

Pig’s next problem was how he was going to get to the Redskins’ stadium for the tryout. He decided to get on the computer and use Mapquest to get directions on how to get to the stadium. Then once he got directions Pig asked Horse if he would give him a ride to the stadium since it was only twenty miles away. When Pig got to the stadium, everyone had no idea what he was doing there and they tried to kick him out and call animal control, but he showed a note he had typed the night before and they allowed him to stay. Pig had used a fake name so that was why the coach didn’t know he was a pig. Pig then met the coach and gave him another note. The coach then decided it was worth a shot to let Pig try out and he allowed Pig to proceed.

They started out with basic stretching, but Pig didn’t do them because he obviously didn’t have human body parts. Then he went through catching drills and he did adequately with those. Next the coach had him run routes and catch passes but that didn’t go very well because the quarterback throwing to him couldn’t throw that low accurately. That was all they did for the first session and Pig came away feeling ok about how he did.

Later Pig was going to get fitted for his pads and other equipment so that he could play in the scrimmage, which was the most important part of the day. Unfortunately for Pig there was no equipment that would fit in his size and the coach told him he would either have to tough it out with no equipment or go home. He did however find some cleats that were made for toddlers and tried to fit them on over his hooves, but he did not like them when he tried to run. Pig desperately wanted to make the team and so it was an easy decision for him to try and play without pads.

The scrimmage began and Pig was very excited and intimidated by the huge people lining up around him. As the scrimmage wore on, however, Pig started to feel very dejected as he had only made one catch through first three quarters. He tried as hard as he could to get open, but the quarterback couldn’t see him and the defense was too quick. After the scrimmage was over Pig still only had one catch and it became imminent that he would not make the team. Finally after two hours of waiting the coach came and gave him the news. Pig did not make the team.

Pig left the stadium very sad and he met up with Horse who had stayed there the whole day. Pig told Horse the bad news and Horse was sorry to hear it. As they made their way home Pig reflected on his day with the Washington Redskins. He was very happy that he had even gotten the chance to try out as he realized he was probably the first animal to ever try out for a football. He also realized that football is definitely not for everyone but especially not for pigs. His last and most important thought was that he was lucky to try out as an actual pig and not pigskin which the football is made out of.